State of Soul

Finch: Part 1

"So, how is my precious little nephew?" Claya asks with a smile while patting my stomach. "Is he still cookin' like he's supposed to?"

I glimpse around the restaurant we're in and reply, "Well, I don't see him anywhere else, so I guess so."

I return my gaze to hers just as she crosses her arms firmly over her chest and smirks, "Okay, smartass. You're lucky I don't hit pregos."

"I'm surprised that's enough to stop ya," I chuckle.

We both begin to giggle, the quiet hums of the surrounding tables encircling us, though we pay no mind to them and vice versa. We are too concentrated on our own conversation. After all, this is my first time spending time with Claya in what feels like forever. After the announcement of my pregnancy, life became very hectic and crazy; doctor appointments, preparing the nursery, excited families, Lamaze classes, and the typical work crunch has left me busy. But it's still great to spend some time with my best friend.

"So, how's my little Queen Bee feeling these days?" Claya presses, taking a sip of her tea. "Is my precious Noah kicking the shit outta ya?"

I lift a brow, snorting, "Your choice of wording never ceases to amaze me." I take another swig of my water and shrug, "My feet hurt, my back hurts, I'm tired all the time, I eat almost anything in sight, and I feel like a whale."

"Wow. You sure do know how to advertise this whole pregnancy thing," she mocks. "I thought pregnancy was supposed to be this whole beautiful and magical experience that women gloat about."

I roll my eyes. "Yeah, in books. I mean, don't get me wrong. It's still a magical time, but I'm kinda just over being pregnant. I wanna sleep flat on my back again. And I wanna just hold my baby already."

A sweet smile bows her lips. "Same. I wanna see his cute little face already!"

We once again laugh lightly, and my mind flash-forwards to the very near future. The very, very near future. Within just a few weeks, my life will be altering forever. Doing whatever I want whenever I want will soon revolve around schedules and diaper changes. Going out for dinner and drinks will become Lunchables and playdates. My spontaneous trips to the mall will soon be planned to run to the market. That is what the near future holds, but I'm not mad or upset. If anything, I'm ecstatic and excited. I'm excited because soon I will be a mother.

"Is Liz getting excited?" Claya presses, taking a bite of her chicken salad.

I nod, "Very. She's already trying to baby proof the whole house."

"Already? Y'all have a couple months at the very least before he even starts crawling," she says. "She knows that, right?"

"I've tried to tell her that repeatedly, but all she can imagine is Noah tumbling down the stairs and slamming his fingers in doors. Believe me, I've tried."

"That's just freakin' precious," Claya beams. "I'm sure she'll relax once he's here...maybe. Maybe she'll relax. Then again, she just might be the worrier."

"She's a worrier," I confirm, giggling.

That's not a lie. Liz has made sure I've been nothing but careful and cautious since we discovered I was pregnant. I originally thought she reacted this way because I was, at the time, already so tired and emotional from our previous fails at conception. However, looking at it now, she's always been a bit of a worrier. Even before we were trying to conceive, she always kept a watchful eye on me to make sure I was okay. That's just how she is.

She's protective, and I know she'll do anything to protect our little family. This baby—this little boy—was every bit her desire as he was mine. He might not belong to her biologically, but she wanted him just as much as me and she'll do anything to make sure he's safe. And since she's not the one carrying him, she'll do anything to protect both of us. That's just how Liz is, and I fully trust her wholeheartedly.

"Well, at least you two are a team," Claya continues. "To be honest, I'm kinda jealous, Queen. Here you are in a committed relationship with a baby on the way while I'm still swiping right for a date."

I chuckle, "Umm, Clay, you just left a long-term relationship after the guy tried to suggest moving in."

She flashes a phony offended expression and gasps, "Rude. Point out my flaws, why don't you?" She composes herself and clears her throat. "And I'll have you know; three years is hardly anything and he was moving way too fast."

I lift a brow. "Three years is totally something. And what's the big deal? Was he talking marriage?"

"No."

"Babies?"

"Not really."

"Then where's the rushing part?" I snort.

She purses her glossed lips and shrugs, "Moving in is a step towards those conversations and, don't get me wrong. I love Luke, but I'm just...not ready for all...that."

"All that?" I chuckle.

"You know...that." She motions at me.

I glance down at myself. Aside from being heavily pregnant, all know that I am off the market. Though Liz and I never really got legally married, I still wear a ring with her birthstone on my left forefinger while she wears a ring with my birthstone on hers. This was how we chose to reflect our relationship to others without being too overwhelming. At least, we thought we weren't being overwhelming.

I glance up at my best friend and question, "Do you mean...a commitment?"

"Well, sorta," she answers. "More of a lifelong commitment and obligations. Not sure if I'm ready for that...or if I'll ever be ready for that."

Not quite the kind of conversation I was expecting to have today, but I just flash a gentle smile. "Clay, there's nothing wrong with that. If it's not what you want, then it's not what you want. Simple as that. You shouldn't have to stress over or justify it."

She mirrors back her own smile of gratitude. "Even if the social norm is to settle down and pop out babies?"

I roll my eyes again. "The social norm is overrated and not for everyone. I mean, look at me. Everyone thinks I'm following it until they find out I'm with another woman." I lean over my food, beaming, "In the end, you do you, boo-boo. You shouldn't live for anyone else."

"I knew there was a reason I named you Queen!" she gushes. "Words of wisdom from the Queen herself!"

I strike a corny pose and we chuckle, returning to harmless chatter while we eat as a few people glimpse over at us. We ignore them and just continue with our meal, though I still feel their eyes until they grow bored and glance away. Being pregnant, I've grown accustomed to people staring at me. My theory is that everyone just adores the round belly. That is my hypothesis, anyway.

But I push all thoughts over the prying gazes away when my phone goes off. Digging into my purse, I apologize to Claya and fish my phone out. My eyes land on the text displayed on the screen as my lips bow into a smile.

It's Liz.

© 2019 K.N. Herzner