"Trust is everything, respect is earned. What do you do, when the possibilities are endless to what your heart desires? There's NO LIMITS to what the future holds"
TW: This book includes violence, drugs, and domestic abuse. Please read with caution.
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"Coming" I heard her yell as I followed her down the hallway. "That must be the pizza" she said to me. "I got it" I said as I walked past her and answered the door. She stood at the end of the hall with her arms folded across her chest as she watched me pay the pizza lady and tip her. "Thank you so much" I said to the woman as I took the pizza from her hands. I closed the door and locked it, placing the pizza on the kitchen island. "Thank goodness! I'm starving" she said anxiously walking into the kitchen. I grabbed us some plates and grabbed a cup of ice. "I'll have water please" she suggested. I nodded my head and poured her some filtered water from the pitcher. I fixed myself a cold glass of sprite and placed a slice of pizza onto my plate. Melissa blessed the food and she grabbed a slice from the box.
Scarfing down the slice of pizza, I broke the silence as I watched Melissa wipe the pizza sauce from her cheek. "So how was the baby today? Any pain or anything?" I questioned. She looked at me and took a sip of water, "Nah not really. He was fine. He was a bit active but nothing out of the ordinary" she said simply and opened the box to grab another piece. "Why?" she questioned. "I was just wondering, you know, if you've been having any Braxton Hicks or anything" I said trying to get her to talk about what took place today.
"James, what do you know about Braxton Hicks?" she chuckled. "I know they're uncomfortable, and if there are any false alarms, I want to be in your presence to take you to the hospital in case our son comes early" I said. Melissa glared at me, and glanced back down at her Apple Watch, "Something important?" I asked leaning over the island.
Melissa snatched her wrist back, "James what the fuck?" she asked angrily. "What's with the damn questions. If I said I'm fine, then I'm fine" she asked taking off her watch. "What's with Dre coming over today? Why is he apologizing to you and telling you that he wish he could've taken you to the hospital huh?! Why the fuck you ain't call me?!" I yelled. "How did you...?" Her voice trailed off as she looked back at me and then looked down the hallway. She ran down the hall and into the master bedroom and grabbed her purse.
"James how dare you go through my phone!" she yelled at me as she ran back into the kitchen. "And how dare you not inform me that you still fucking around on me! You're 7 months pregnant, what the fuck are you doing still being a hoe?!" I yelled at her. "A hoe?!" she yelled throwing her purse at me. "Who the fuck you calling a hoe James? Yes, I was with Dre today and yes, I was cramping but it wasn't anything serious and its none of your damn business! Why the fuck are you trippin?!" she yelled at me. I caught her purse and placed it on the table and got in her face, "Melissa, it is my damn business. I've already had to get the paternity of my son just to make sure this kid wasn't Dre's. You're living under my roof with me and if there's anything going on with my child, I deserve the right to know, I'm his father" I said sternly.
She scoffed, "A few months ago you didn't even want this child and now all of a sudden you're trying to be daddy of the year and pretending like you give a shit because a piece of paper says you're the father. Get over yourself! Just because you're having a midlife crisis and you messed around and got me pregnant it doesn't mean you can treat me like I'm your damn child! I'm not the fucking one!" Melissa yelled as she grabbed the half-eaten slice of pizza and heaved it at me. "You've got a lot of nerve to start shit with me tonight James. I don't have to tell you what the fuck I do! If Naomi was still here, I'd still be pregnant, and you wouldn't want a damn thing to do with me. So as soon as I drop this baby I'm out of your fucking house and I'm done with your ass. I can raise this baby myself. I don't need you" She said angrily and halfway out of breath from throwing that pizza at me.
"Melissa, I'm just saying, you promised me that it wasn't anything serious between you and Dre, and now he's apologizing to you for trying to fuck you, and somehow feels responsible for whatever pain you've been feeling in your stomach today. I can take care of you. You don't fucking need him!" I yelled at her.
"I don't need neither one of you James. Quite frankly I'm tired of you and your shit. Don't you ever go through my fucking phone again or I swear I will fuck you up!" she said hitting me. I took her hand and stopped her from trying to hit me again, "Don't put your hands on me Melissa, let's be adults here." I said sternly. "Adults?! Adults?! You want to ack like fucking adults James? An adult would know that unprotected sex leads to a baby, right? A grown ass man would know how to use a damn condom. But you clearly don't know what it means to be a man. You are fucking pathetic" she spat.
I rolled my eyes. "Stop with the damn insults!" I said to her. "NO. I'm not. You don't seem to respect me, and you never have. So since you wanna sit here and act like you're 'shit don't stink' then I'm disrespecting your wannabe hard ass tonight! Since you like fucking your employee's and thinking it's cute, welcome to reality James!" she yelled pointing at her belly. "You can't fuck people over and expect there to be no consequences. You have to face the truth and realize that Karma is a bitch! What goes around, comes around. I should've fucked Dre, but you know what..." she asked standing in front of me lowering her voice. "What" I asked rudely. "Your son kept kicking my ass, and I was this close..." she said holding her thumb and index finger close together "To getting my ass waxed today!" she said in a cocky tone.
I pushed her away from me almost knocking the wind out of her. She didn't fall but was caught off balance. She looked at me horrified and immediately charged into me hitting me, but I held her. I knew I was wrong, but I couldn't let her talk to me like this. "You justify a lot of shit and you tell me what I can and can't do yet you feel no shame for how you've treated me?! You expect me to be 'faithful' to you when you've never been loyal to me at all. James, I regret you" she said with tears streaming from her face as I held her.
"I regret this. If I could go back, I would've never.... EVER slept with you! If I could've saw into the future and seen that you would treat me this way I would've looked the other way. You've broken me so much as a woman and I... I shouldn't EVER feel pain like this." She cried heavily as she held her stomach. She breathed in heavily and cried out. "And now you've gotten me upset to the point that the baby is hurting me" she said as her knees buckled, and she fell onto the floor. She sat on the floor rubbing her stomach breathing in and out slowly and closed her eyes as the tears kept falling. I sat down looking at her with concern, "Melissa, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What do you want me to do? Do you wanna get in the car and we go to the hospital?!" I asked with a shaky voice.
She opened her eyes and looked at me. "No, I don't... I just want you to get away from me and leave me the fuck alone!" she said as she began to cry harder. I pulled her into an embrace and as much as I felt that she wanted to push me away, she couldn't.
As hard as she cried on me, I could finally feel all of the pain that I had caused her. I know this wouldn't be good for her or the baby. My apologies would no longer suffice in this situation and my actions don't seem to help me anymore than they hurt me. I wasn't the best man for her, but I don't want to lose her. Despite her having my son, I always wanted to get to know her on a deeper level, but my pride wouldn't allow me to do so. I grabbed her glass of water from the table and gave it to her. She took it from me and drank quickly. I sat back down next to her and wiped her tears.
"Melissa, I don't want to lose you, or my son. I wanna do whatever it takes to make this work for us. If we have to go to counseling, spend a few days away from here, or just sit here in silence; I can't afford to lose you and my son. I know I sucked as a husband to Naomi... it does have everything to do with you. I want to redeem myself as a husband one day and I wanna be everything that you want me to be. I can't live like this baby and I'd be a fool if I continue to let the pain I cause be the reason that you leave me. I know you feel like you're stuck right now, but you're absolutely right, you do have options. I can't hold you back from doing what's best for you, but I at least want to give it one last shot. We've been at this for far too long and the signs are all there, you're too far into your pregnancy and I mean... no woman should be pregnant alone, and I don't want you or my son to hate me. I wanna make you forget everything I've ever done, and I wanna get rid of those rainy days between us. I wanna create memories. I wanna get to know you more, understand you, pick your brain and tell you that I can't live without you. I don't want to spend another night wondering what we could've been. As a man it's my job to keep my family together and I want this." I said to her with a tear running down my cheek.
She looked at me and could see the sincerity in her eyes. She dropped her head and sighed. "I don't wanna talk about this right now, I'll sleep in the nursery" she said softly. I dropped my head and felt her trying to get up. I kneeled next to her and held her arm then walked her down the hall. "Please, take the master. I'll sleep on the couch" I said simply. She nodded her head as I walked out of the room and closed the door behind me.
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