Dear Niall,
It's been over a week since I've seen or heard from you. You don't miss me do you? God, I'm so fucking stupid. I thought you cared about me. I guess I just was someone you associated with just to have someone to talk to. I believed that you liked me. I'm so stupid. I knew that as soon as I left you'd forget about me. That doesnt help the pain though. I'm not only sad, but mad. Dammit, I'm enraged! You promised me! You fucking promised me that you'd be there. Please just talk to me. I know I sound desperate, but I dont care Niall. I just wish you felt how I felt. I just wish you didn't give up on me when you know that I'm already giving up on myself. We receive the love that we believe we deserve. I guess that's why I'm nothing to you. I found out some shit today. I found out that you told friends that you'd "get with me" before I left. I'm so happy that I had at least an ounce of respect for myself. . I dont care anymore, neither do you obviously. WHY DO I CARE ABOUT YOU? WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I SLEEP? YOU KNOW WHAT NIALL, I KNOW WHY. YOU'VE BEEN FUCKING TAKING OVER MY MIND, BODY, AND SOUL WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING OR CARING.....I wanted to be strong for you. You told me to stop, but I cant. Tears are streaming down my face and I don't want to feel this emotional pain anymore. I want control over how I feel. It's time to gain control.
Im sorry,
