Dear Niall,
June 7th, 2014. That was the last time I saw you. June 7th, 2014. That was the last time I kissed you. June 7th, 2014. That was the last time I felt okay. It's been about 6 weeks Niall. I dont know whether I want to scream, cry, or die. All of the above sounds appealing to me. We've talked about suicide before. I wrote you a letter telling you that we needed to break up, and that I was sorry. You kept asking me what was wrong. I felt like you were staring into my soul, because you guessed why I wanted to break up. You realized that I wanted to take my life, and we sat in the field talking for hours about how you wanted me to stay, and how much you cared for me. "Cared", as in you used to care. I don't even know if that was true. I think you just wanted someone to toy with; you wanted someone who was willing to give their all, while you gave a small portion. I'm so dumb for not realizing it sooner. You make me- fuck you made me so happy. Now, well now you make me want to die. I want to die just to escape the emotional pain that my body daily endures. No one can save me Niall. I'm not even willing to save myself. You take a piece of me everyday that you don't try to reach out to me. What am I waiting for? "Do it." my mind tells me. "Be free. End it." I'm going with my mind this time; fuck my heart. Fuck you.
K.M.
