Dear Niall,
I'm so sorry. I did something that I promised you I'd never do again. I just needed to control the emotional pain. Please forgive me. Fuck, I'm so stupid. You don't care about me anymore, so there's no reason for you to be disappointed in me. I'm disappointed in myself. I'm such a fuck up, no wonder you dont care. Niall please just tell me what I did wrong. Please answer my texts. Please. I dont know what Im doing with my life. It's been 4 weeks since I've last seen you and Im breaking. I have no desire to live. You ignited a fire in me and now the fire has burned out. I feel used. I feel dumb. For fucks sake, I feel numb. I dont know how many pills I've taken, but they're working. I'm getting sleepy. i don't want to ever wake up again, because I know that you won't be there to kiss me and tell me that everything will be okay. News flash Niall; everything is not fucking okay. I understand that now. You were able to distract me from the demons in my mind, but now you're not here to keep them from eating me alive. I feel like I'm going insane. My body is aching, and it scares me how dependent I am for your touch. It's not just your touch, but I want that fire back. God help me. I cant keep my eyes open anymore.Come back to me Niall. I think I love you.
Yours,
K.M.
