Dear Niall,
We're only bruises on this Earth, meaning one day we'll fade. One day we'll disappear and not a soul will remember us. I'm a fucking hurricane of self-hate and depression. I craved you in the most innocent way possible, but now I want you to hurt like I have. You used to be the reason why I woke up every morning with a smile, but now all I do is cry and curse at God for giving me another day of hell. Sometimes I need to be alone, even though doing so is facing my biggest fear. Today Im facing my fear, and it was such a stupid decision to do so because it gives me all of this time to think, and hate, and cry, and cut, and continue the vicious cycle. Maybe being alone today wasnt so bad because I had an epiphany. I think I'd make it easier on my mom, brother and sisters if I just died you know? But Im doing this mostly because I'm just tired of feeling like shit. It sucks by the way. I don't want to drown anyone else along with me, so it'd be best if I just ended things... Im just so tired of people saying 'I love you' to me with hopes that I'll stop hating myself. This isn't some cheap fucking romance movie, Niall. This is my fucking life, but all I want is death. My wounds do the weeping I cannot, but right now I can't stop crying. Tell my family that I'm sorry. Matter of fact, don't. I have nothing to be sorry for. They did nothing to help me, and this is the only way to finally be free. I'll always love you Niall. We were born to die, but we are infinite.
Goodbye forever,
K.M.
