𝐞𝐜𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐲, shawn mendes

vi | 'what time do you call this?'

shawn mendes
16/10/18
1:38pm
san francisco, usa

"I guess you'll see, won't you?" Venus smirks, moonlight catching in her eyes as she disappears behind the door.

"I guess I will." I whisper to myself, taking one last look at her through the darkened window as she kicks off her heels and tiptoes up the stairs, an unmistakable smile on her face as she fades out of my sight. I could've looked at her forever.

But that would have been wrong. Because I have a girlfriend. A fact I'd managed to keep to myself for the hours we'd spent together. And somewhere, deep down, I had a reason for that. But I wasn't quite ready to unpack that right now.

I call an uber, sitting on the pavement outside her house as I wait. It pulls up outside almost immediately and I climb in, finding myself humming that song for the whole journey. The one Venus sang for me. I add a few more bars, hastily typing some additional lyrics into my notes and smiling to myself. I was gonna make this our song. A hit. The making of her.

By the time the Uber has driven across the city and pulls up outside my hotel I have a rough version of the song, my heart thumping in my chest as I think about singing it with her.

I practically sprint up to my hotel room, excited to grab my guitar and get some chords arranged. My fingers were already mindlessly strumming at thin air, begging to have some kind of medium to express this creativity.

I'm about to run and grab my guitar when I spot Brian, laid on my bed on his phone.

"What time do you call this?" He raises his eyebrows, looking over at me. I shuffle in guiltily as if he's my parent, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I just walked her home. She lives across the city, so it took a while." He eyes me suspiciously, "Nothing happened. What kind of guy do you think I am Brian, seriously?"

"The kind of guy that goes to bars with other girls and spends all night 'Walking them home'." He adds air quotes to the last part, making it clear he doesn't quite believe me, "Does that sound about right?"

"I didn't cheat on Charlotte. I'd never do anything to hurt her. But Venus is, she's something else. I don't know how to explain the feeling I get when I'm around her. And maybe I shouldn't feel like that. But I do, and that doesn't mean I don't have feelings for Charlotte. She's my girlfriend. Of course I do." I babble an attempt to convince him. I try not to think about how it's an attempt to convince myself, too.

"I'm just looking out for you, and her. Emily would kill me if you hurt her." He tells me. Emily is his sister, and Charlotte's best friend. We met at Brian's birthday party in February and went from there, quickly becoming a couple. Maybe too quickly.

"I like her." I tell him, "I really, really like her. Charlotte, I mean."

"That's the problem." He declares, "It's been seven months, and you just like her."

"It's not like she's in love with me, though." I point out, "That would be a different story."

"How do you know?"

"Because she hasn't told me." I reply.

"Shawn, it's Charlotte. She's shy. She's not gonna be the one to say it first, really." He replies, "But I have a feeling she is. I mean, it's you. I don't see why she wouldn't be, after all this time."