The silence tonight is so deafening. My thoughts are on a loose and you are not here to bring them back in control. Your arms are not here to wrap me in an assuring gesture. Your calm and comforting voice is not here to calm me down. Your eyes are not boring into me to steady me from losing it. From losing all of it, that is usually under my control by your pleasant mere comforting words. It seems so unreal. Your absence is unreal. I can't come over the fact that I'm alone tonight. I'm alone when I need you the most. I'm alone when I need your fingers to rub calming circles on my back when I hide my face in the crook of your neck and try to hide my feelings in the crevasse of your heart. I miss you, and the fact that you're not here when I need you the most, to hold me, makes me feel trapped. Even in the cold breeze fanning my face from where I'm standing in my balcony tonight at midnight, rummaging through our closet of memories, all I can think about is how unconditional your love was and will always be I miss you on such nights. I miss you so much.
