The Diary Of A Teenage Girl [COMPLETED]

22/01

I'd been avoiding Aiden for a week, and trying - but failing - to avoid Xander too. I couldn't tell him I didn't want to be friends but I could avoid him. He just seemed to be able to find me, wherever I was. It was actually starting to get creepy. I thought maybe if Vivi was with me, he'd leave me alone but I couldn't find her anywhere. So here I was walking up to the boy's table.

I could see Vivi's long curly hair in the mist of short straight hair from a mile away so I started to walk over, smiling. As I got closer, I could hear Aiden's voice. My heart started to beat faster but it just about stopped when I heard what he was saying.

"Viv, I don't like Mei. Why would she even think that? Please tell her that I don't."

I froze in my tracks. Why were they talking about me? And why was he acting like he had no idea that he was flirting with me? Maybe I had read all the signs wrong.

"She said you were flirting with her." Vivi put her hand on his shoulder, leaning in closer to him.

I thought I was going to drop my tray, like in those cheesy American movies when the girl has just caught the guy she's dating cheating on her and she runs away crying. But this wasn't like the movies, in the movies, he always ran after her and explained that he loved her; it wasn't what it looked like. That wasn't going to happen. He wasn't going to run after me and he certainly wasn't going to confess his love for me. He'd made that clear.

I didn't wait to hear the rest of the conversation, I just turned around and slipped out of the cafeteria after putting my tray away. That's when the tears started to fall.

I rushed into the girls bathroom, wiping at my eyes. I looked in the mirror. There were mascara stains running down my cheeks and my eyes were red.

I wanted to scream - I almost did. But then someone came out of one of the bathroom stalls behind me. I stare at them through the mirror. It was Leiya.

Her chocolate skin contrasted with the bright light of the bathroom, her frizzy hair curling around her face as per usual. She looked normal, well put together. I guess most people probably did. But not me, not today. I was the epitome of a mess.

"You okay?" She asked, her deep brown eyes clouded with concern.

I nodded, trying to smile at her but failing miserably.

"You don't look okay." She walked over to me and turned me around to face her. I looked away, not wanting to look her in the eye, wanting to hide my face. I had always hated people being me cry, it made me feel weak and vulnerable.

She pulled me into a hug and I accepted the gesture, a sense of comfort flowing over me. It was nice to have someone you barely know want you to be okay and want to look after you. I usually didn't like physical contact with people I didn't know very well but today, after everything that had happened, it was nice.

"You wanna talk about it?" She asked, pulling away from the hug to look me in the eyes.

I kept my gaze averted and shook my head. I wasn't in the mood for talking, I didn't even think I'd be able to talk. Sometimes when I got so upset the messages from my brain to mouth telling me to speak stopped working. I was sure it was a mental block sort of thing but either way I couldn't speak. That was happening now.

I wanted to go back to the cafeteria and scream at Aiden and Vivi, telling them that I thought they were my friends and I'd trusted them. I could see myself doing it, but I knew I wouldn't. It wasn't me - screaming and shouting - I didn't like to make a big deal out of things so I'd always swallow it up and try to pretend I was okay.

"You got class next or a free period?" Concern still filled her eyes. I wondered if she was going to tell me to skip school, I shouldn't but the idea was looking pretty good to me right now.

I opened my mouth to speak, trying to force the sound out of it. My answer came out in a squeak but I was lucky it came out at all. "Class."

"Come on, then, you can spend the rest of break with me. Here's a makeup wipe."

I took it, gratefully, then started to scrub at my face. Once I'd got rid of the mascara stains, I pulled my makeup bag out of my school bag and put it on the counter next to the sink. Starting to put concealer under my eyes, I realised Leiya was standing behind me.

"Sorry," I said, getting my voice back. Putting my makeup on had always helped me compose myself, it took my mind off things and made me feel in control. "I'm making you wait."

"No, no. It's fine, I don't mind." She smiled at me and I smiled back, managing to smile a little better now.

I pulled my beauty blender sponge out and started to blend in the concealer, erasing the redness from around my eyes, making me look less like I'd just been crying. I still thought it was obvious, though, my eyes were bloodshot and my eyelashes clumped together with the wet remainder of tears. I dapped at them, drying them slightly. I hoped the untrained eye wouldn't notice my bloodshot eyes. I mean even if they did, they would probably just think I was drunk but that wasn't much better than the real reason.

When I was ready, we walked out of the bathroom and went to find Leiya's other friends.

They were hanging out outside, sitting on a bench, both on their phones. One was the boy who she usually sat with in Maths and the other was the boy he'd sat next to on the first day back. I couldn't remember either of their names and I didn't remember how good looking the first one was either, until I saw him.

His hair, which had originally looked jet black, had different shades of brown shining through in the light. The other one's hair was dark as well but instead of having different shades of brown shine through in the light different shades of red were shining through. His skin was the colour of honey, which I thought was unusual for someone with auburn hair. I couldn't tell if it was natural or a suntan.

They both looked up in unison as we approached.

"Ayy, look who decided to finally show up." The first one said in greeting to Leiya. She smiled at him but greet him back.

"Mei, this is Hisashi, he's my best friend. And this is Elijah." Recognition flicked on in my brain when Leiya said the first name. She'd said it when I'd asked Who usually sat with her in Maths on the first day back to class.

"Hi," I said to them both, rather shyly, trying to smile at them both. I still wasn't fully composed from earlier but I could do my best to act like I was.

"Hi," Elijah greeted me first.

Then Hisashi greeted me. "Hey." He said smirking at me. So another fuckboy. It wasn't a surprise after all he was extremely good-looking. He'd probably had too many girls after them so thought he could now get any girl he likes without having to treat them nicely.

We sat down next to them, Leiya sitting down next to Hisashi and me sitting down next to her.

We talked for the rest of the break which takes my mind off the previous event and, although the distraction was only temporary, it was nice.

At the end of break, when I was just about to rush back to class, Hisashi stopped me.

"Hey, Mei, I'm having a sesh tomorrow night if you wanna come." He told me.

"What," I said, confused by the word sesh. "Like a party?"

"No." He shook his head, looking like he was going to facepalm. "A sesh isn't a party - it's like a gathering with alcohol."

"Oh, well, I'll have to ask my mum so I'll come if I can." I hoped my mum would let me, now, after the chat we had. I didn't want to tell anyone I wasn't allowed, but if I wasn't I'd probably just say I was busy.

"Okay, give me your number so I can text you the address and stuff."

"Um, yeah, sure." I got my phone out to read my number out to him. I always thought it would be useful to know my number by heart but I'd have to learn it and I didn't have the time.

I read it out to him while he typed it in then went to class after he'd informed me he'd text me later.