Adopted

After

Hayden's POV

"Ray" I whisper, not sure if I make any sound at all.

He sits on the edge of the tub, motioning for me to sit next to him. I do.

"Yes, Hayden? Is something besides the obvious wrong?"

"I'm, I'm sorry. I wish I could undo all of that."

"We know that you don't mean to do any of that. We don't blame you."

"Can I tell you something, I kinda have kept this secret awhile?" I look down, realizing how much trouble I'll be in.

"Of course, and why keep it secret?"

"Because I'm gonna be in trouble. Well, I might have been having really bad nightmares for the past three months." I say the last part really fast, but I know he hears it.

"So I've seen." He doesn't sound surprised.

Ray's POV

She shakes her head no. "Not those. The ones where I get killed, or I kill myself. The ones that I miss whenever these ones happen."

I put my arm around her, careful not to hit any injuries. "Why do you miss them? If they scare you, why miss them?"

"Because they don't hurt anyone. At least not any of you. They only hurt me. I deserve that though, so its okay."

"No you don't deserve that, no one does. You need to tell us when you have dreams or thoughts like those. You can't be left alone with those. None of us can." She looks at me, pleading me to not tell the others. But I have to. "Come on, lets go somewhere else." I stand up, holding my hand out to her.

"No..."

Mikey's POV

Gerard walks over to the chair and sits down. "Mikey, why do we do this again?"

I walk over and lean on the couch. "Because we don't wanna live by the new rules. Remember how you said you would put up a fight before they took you down."

"Yeah, I remember. What would it be like if we didn't ever run, if we just gave in."

"We would be forced to do whatever the government wanted. We wouldn't have our music. We would be forced to prioritize what everyone else does. We would be told what was acceptable to wear, then punished if we didn't wear it. That's why we ran." He looks at me for what feels like forever, without actually seeing me. That is one thing we all have become very good at.

"Right, okay, I think I'm gonna...." The last part of his sentence is cut off as he falls asleep.

I walk over to him and pull a blanket over him. He's lost so much these past two years, Lynz and Bandit being captured. We all have lost everything. Suicide is not an avoided topic, we've seen enough on the news of some of our friends resorting to that. And the many times we've talked each other out of it, the times we've discussed its beauty, its horror. None of us know if we are sane anymore. We're falling apart.