Alleyway BxB

XVIII (Equals)

TUESDAY, 9 OCTOBER
NATHAN COVINGTON

"About last night..."

They stayed the night. They all did because Jace was right. Yet another fiasco caused by me and only me.

Our conversation outside didn't go anywhere because I was too shocked at what he had said; but I stayed out longer than he did to avoid the heat inside. I was so torn. He had to have been lying, Matt wouldn't do anything like that and was that even my business?

I sat down on the edge of his bed and waited.

It didn't take too long for me to realise how calm he made him, how just a minute of assurance could bring Matt down from the worst of places and I couldn't overlook how impressive that was; even with the past in picture.

Slowly, Matt moved the duvet down from over his head to the point where only his eyes were exposed. He leered at me warily.

"I think I overreacted."

"You think?" He mumbled softly. "The least you could have done was be nice."

Maybe a more tamed introduction would have helped my case. I just had to do it in front of everyone--Matt especially. "I had my reasons... I was just worried, I guess."

He rolled his eyes. "Is that all you ever are? I'm like a baby; you're worried about me for everything. At least Aiden treats me like I'm capable."

"That's not-" I stopped myself. Maybe I did treat him that way. But Aiden... Aiden. "Was... was that always his name?"

His brows furrowed. "Everyone calls him that. His family calls him AJ but why does that matter?" Matt had retreated under his blanket again and the impatience in his voice only seemed to escalate the longer I stayed in the room. "Just let me be happy, Nate."

"You deserve that," I told him truthfully. "But Aiden and I-"

"You two used to date," He said, interrupting me. "I already know about it. He told me last night after your episode. I'm not bothered by it if that's what you're here for."

"He already told you," I repeated. I had not expected that one. "That's a part of it, I suppose."

He shrugged. "We're not breaking up either, Nate."

"No, I know." No matter how much I wanted it to happen in the beginning, I couldn't force Matt to do anything. What did I know about relationships anyway? I didn't know Jace at all anymore. Maybe he was taking this seriously. "You know I'm only trying to protect you."

"He was already messed up from you," he said accusingly. "There's nothing you need to be concerned about."

"He actually told me you cheated."

And it vanished: the pent up acrimony had dissolved into regret almost instantaneously. "He told you that?"

"I was hoping he was lying."

"I didn't mean to," he said softly. "I was upset. The boys invited me to join them at this party and I saw this other guy on him. I thought he was cheating on me but it was actually just this random guy who caught him off guard; but I didn't know, so I-" he paused abruptly. "I never wanted to hurt him."

It must have taken a lot of trust and effort to get Matt to a party. He hated crowds, especially in enclosed places. Jace and his friends should have known that.

I moved further onto the bed to hug him. At first he tried to push me away, but he eventually relented and leaned into an embrace. "At least he forgave you." I ran a light hand through his hair, softly massaged him because I knew it always calmed him down.

He held onto me tighter. "I slept with another guy."

It was one of my biggest regrets: leaving Jace for Blaine. We spent a lot of time together in secret just to maintain the connection we had sparked between us. I hid us from everyone just so I could be comfortable. He invested so much of his trust in me and I threw it away for nothing. And he had gone through it again. "It's okay-"

"I didn't know he was your friend."

My hand froze. "What?"

"Y-your friend," he repeated, but he quickly slid out of my arms and eyed me anxiously. "I didn't know."

It couldn't have been anyone in the house; he settled in too quickly and comfortably if it was one of them. The football team? No, everyone was dead straight- Wait, no. Last night... "You slept with Ryder?!" I exclaimed.

He winced. From under the duvet, he quickly yielded Jace's jacket and pulled it up to his face as it was a shield of some sort. "I'm sorry!"

"He's in photos with me everywhere and you didn't know it was Ryder?" We were plastered all over Monarch's social medias together. He was all over mine too. "You shouldn't get involved with random dudes at any of Damon's parties. What if you ran into someone who could have hurt you instead?" I scolded him.

Damon's events were infamous for their explicit access to alcohol and drugs for minors. They were something the freshmen dreamt and bragged about attending, and served as a great place for the seniors and college guys to congregate at to prey on those naive dreamers. I had been there once in my life and I absolutely despised it.

"You're getting angry again, Nate," he squeaked and pulled the jacket higher again.

But I couldn't help myself. How could they drag him to a place teeming with alcohol when they knew about Matt and I's situation with our father? They knew. They all did and I knew because they were the ones he visited all the time. "You could have gotten hurt!"

"I can look out for myself!" He snapped and he'd never done that before. "You know what? I'm tired of you looking down at me all the time. You always act like you're above me."

"What are you talking about?"

"Haven't you noticed? Growing up, Dad liked you more because you were better than me at everything. You were the stronger son, you liked sports, you were always in the football team, and to top it all off, you were always the top player. You still are." He pointed to himself. "Me? He barely talked to me. I was always inside drawing, reading, helping Mom out in the kitchen because I liked to cook. He didn't want anything to do with me and you were always outside. She was the only one I really had until she killed herself." Matt's voice had begun to crack every other word now and my heart couldn't help but follow suite. "Dad turned on me first because he hated how I wasn't like you. The only reason why you have those bruises is because you were defending me. I was everything he didn't want in a son.

"I was always pushed aside, you were always with your friends, Dad saw me as a waste of his time, and Mom is still dead. I was close to Zach but you pushed him away. You baby me because I'm the weaker brother. He was right. Dad was always right. I feel like a burden whenever I'm with you."

"You've never been a burden... Forget him. He's gone. I promise."

"Aiden just makes me so happy." He sounded brittle, like his voice was about to crack into sobs at any moment. "Always treats me like an equal instead of something that needs protecting all the time."