sticky sweet {nikki sixx}

•twenty•

december, 1984.
"nikki stop, it's cold and i don't have warm clothes on." i squeal as nikki chucks snow at me.
"go put a coat on so we can have some fucking fun." he says excitedly.
grabbing nikki's hoodie and my leather jacket, i slip my hands into some gloves and run outside our new house. our dog, axel runs and jumps through the air as nikki throws snow for him to catch. nikki and i finally had the money to buy a nicer house, somewhere out of the city. it was a lovely, small town on the outside of Florida, we had a lovely garden and a beautiful three bedroom house. we were happy.
nikki was back off tour for Christmas and i was super happy to get to spend time with him since he's been on tour for the past few months.
taking my eye off the ball, nikki runs at me. his strong arms wrapping around my legs as he pushes me into the frosty snow. my body tenses up as the freezing fluff covers my small body, nikki laughs slightly shocked,
"i can't believe you." i shout, quickly jumping up.
nikki and i run around our front lawn, as our great dane jumps around after us. the cold air cuts my cheeks sending them red, nikki cups my face with his warm hands and smiles at me,
"it's good to have you back." he smiles lovingly,
"it's good to have you back."
our lips meet, but the frosty air makes it impossible for either of us to feel it. we both sniffle and race each other inside, pushing each other to squeeze into the door. we both fall in a mess on the floor laughing.
nikki opens the fridge and pulls out a beer, flicking the kettle on i begin to make my coffee,
     "what are you wanting for dinner tonight?" i ask,
nikki becomes shifty as he strokes axel,
     "you're not here for dinner... are you?" i ask quietly, nikki shakes his head,
     "no, i'm just going out with the crue tonight... but i am all yours tomorrow?"
"it's always tomorrow though." my voice broke.
nikki sighed and looked at the ground,
"i'm sorry angel." he says sadly, grabbing a mug from the cupboard, i sigh,
"you're always sorry."
hanging my head, i hold my body weight against the palms of my hands, the edge of the marble counters cutting the soft skin. anxiety and sadness begins to boil through my body. warm tears, begin to prickle my eyes, choking on the air slightly. i look at the ceiling.
"well i hope you have fun tonight." i say trying to sound as though i meant it.
nikki's eyes look solemnly from under his hair, he walks over and puts his hand on mine.
"we will have a proper date tomorrow night and i'll take you to the most fucking place you've been." his voice was hopeful,
"if you can find the time for me." my voice was dull, nikki looks taken back, "i mean.. yea of course, that sounds great... sorry."
nikki furrows his brows together,
"i don't know when i'll be back." his voice was all dull.
he marches out of the house, slamming the door behind him, the knocker bouncing off the door. my heart fills with sadness, our relationship goes from great to bad in minutes and it hurts a lot.
quickly dialling a number, elizabeth, vince's wife picks up.
"hey love, do you want to come round for a couple drinks?" i ask her.

elizabeth pulls up and i begin pouring her a glass of wine and myself one too. heels tap on the wooden floor and the door quietly clicks behind her,
"hey." we both say in union, our arms wrap around each other as we hug.
we both sit around my lit fire and chat about life. her and vince had been struggling and it was hard for them both. sitting and laughing we both struggle to breathe.
"do you ever wonder, maybe if you have a baby then maybe they'll stick around a bit more?" i slurred slightly, elizabeth laughs.
"we can wish... but that wouldn't even tie them down. i mean vince isn't around much for my liza." she replies.
we both sigh a little and look at one another,
"i want a baby, but i know nikki doesn't."
we both look at each other, our eyes saddened.
i had recently discovered that when i got drunk i was a cryer, or it was because i hadn't drank in years and me only doing it on the occasion now.
tears pour down my cheeks and snot bubbles in my nose. she pulls me into a hug and strokes my hair as i wipe my face,
"i'm sure it will all work itself out soon hun, you've just got to be patient."
we both sigh and slouch into my sofa, the fires crackling calmly and the candles around us glowing blissfully.
     "when are you putting the christmas decorations up?" she asks me,
     "i thought we'd do it on nikki's birthday... just a nice sort of traditional thing we could do for when we have a family..." i say softly,
      "yea... that would be sweet."

•nikki•

"ah nikki, you're here earlier then i expected." the woman says walking over to me in a tight dress,
"yea... it's hard lying to lizzie telling her i'm with the guys when i'm not..." i say in almost a whisper.
she gives me a bright smile,
"is it just us or is anyone else joining later?"
shaking my head yes, i take a seat in the scratchy chair waiting for mick. the little bell above the door tings delicately, then in walks a stiff mick.
he sits down next to me while the lady finishes with her first client. mick glances at me,
     "do you have any idea of what you're getting yourself into?" he questions.
bouncing my leg in nerves, the small heel of my combat boot jumps against the wooden flooring.
      "yea i do."