sticky sweet {nikki sixx}

•thirty eight•

nikki and i took a slow walk back to the hotel, taking in our surroundings, watching the butterflies and the bees dart in different directions.
a large thunder cloud travels a long the sky, the both of us look at each other worriedly. the clouds crash and bang then tips from the sky, floods of water, so cold it feels like daggers in your skin. both of us run through the rain, nikki stomping in a deep puddle making it splash over both of us,
      "nikki." i squeak as i jump away from the downfall of the puddle. nikki laughs,
       "stop complaining and run."
the both of us run as fast as we could, it was like the first night i had stayed at his and we ran back to the apartment. nikki grips his hand in mind as we trudge back to the hotel, the both of us dripping wet.
standing in the reception i watch a rain drop drop off the end of nikki's nose, gently wiping it away he smiles at me. walking up to our room we get undressed and change into dry clothes. rubbing my hair between the towel, i dry it slightly until it goes damp. nikki had been in the bathroom for a while so i knew what he was doing. injecting. nikki walks out a smile plastered on his face, but a bigger cheesier grin. giving him a weak smile he lights a fag and passes it to me, i shake my head,
"you know i don't smoke whole i'm pregnant, love." i say softly, nikki's face drops,
"oh..."
"it's fine, thank you though." i stand up and kiss him then go into the bathroom to get rid of his dirty needle. looking at his arms, i saw scars from where he had injected himself. they were everywhere. sighing i watch him for a bit, just admiring the way he moves or the way he examines things or how he laughs at something stupid.
"i can feel you staring at me." he says, his back turned to me, jumping out of my trace i fumble on my words,
"oh, erm... sorry, i'll stop."

arriving at the airport we were swamped by cameras, microphones and people shouting. this was worse than normal. flashes of white blind me slightly and the shouting and screaming deafen me. gripping tighter to nikki's arm as we walk through everyone. looking behind his sunglasses his eyes were glazed over, but he was used to it.
vince walks up next to me and smiles, pushing people out of the way just to make sure i was alright. nikki looks over at vince, he wasn't keen on how protective vince was over me... but he was like a brother, so were the other guys.
sitting in the chair, i catch docs eye he looks at me,
"i need to talk to you once we are flying." he asks me, i give him a suspicious nod.
gripping the arm rest and planting my feet hard onto the ground as the plane begins to take off, i slam my eyes shut. nikki puts a hand on mine and squeezes it, like he does all the time. it relaxes me, calms me a little more. my heart stops beating as soon as we get in the air, or it slows down more.
looking at nikki he was gone, after all the drugs he had consumed he had passed out. kissing him on the head, i walk over to doc sitting next to him.
"what's up?" i ask.
"so... it's just about all the work you've been doing recently for being a manager." he says, i nod and wait for him to carry on, "i've got you a job, you know them well and i think you'll get on with them fine." staring at him, i furrow my brows together,
"who is it?"
"these guys." he says, looking at him i laugh and shake my head no,
"i look after them enough, i don't want to tour with them too..." i pause, "it just wouldn't work."
        "lizzie, you'd be good for them... they listen to you and they care about you... they fuck up all you have to do it cry and I'm sure they wouldn't do it again." doc says quietly. i hesitate,
        "can i think about it at least?"
he nods.

••••••

the ping of the microwave goes off, indicating my measly porridge was finished. putting some strawberries on the top along with some golden syrup, i sit at the island and slowly eat it drinking my cup of tea. the radio playing in the background,
      "love birds, nikki sixx and elizabeth collier seen flying back to america after romantic wedding in england." they do a dramatic pause, "when will babies be on the cards for these two?"
nikki then trudges down the stairs, his hair like a birds nest. sitting on the counter, i look at him,
      "get your naked ass off my clean counters." i say laughing, he groans like a teenager, "i didn't expect you up till this afternoon..." he replies with a grunt, "any breakfast?"
       "no thank you." he sighs tiredly then goes upstairs to the bathroom.
those two days of bliss were soon over... i wish my pain and tears worked as well as doc thought they did...