sticky sweet {nikki sixx}

•thirty five•

may, 1987.

there was no sign that i was pregnant, i wasn't hopeful. i was preparing myself for the worst, i didn't want to get anyone's hopes up so i kept quiet again. sitting on the sofa, it was late at night, i sit and drink my tea and watch the tv. with the chance of being over a month pregnant i didn't dare drink anything, i knew how bad and unhealthy it could be for the baby.
nikki and I had haley staying with us while she was in america and seeing razzle, it was torture listening to them go at it like rabbits in the room across the hallway.
axel plods along the hall and onto the plush sofa next to me, he sits up alert and watches out the window, he would be waiting for nikki. he did this most nights until he realises he won't be home for a while and goes to sleep. axel cries at the window and then turns to look at me
      "i know mate, he'll be here soon." i say standing up and stroking him gently, i kiss the top of his head and put my mug into the sink.
walking up the stairs slowly my slippers slap the the flooring as i trudge away. locking the bathroom door, I rummage through the cupboard that was full of shit,
       "i have to have some left over." i groan, looking at different boxes.
frowning, i check the packaging and realise it's the right one. pissing on the stick i place it in the sink and wait two minutes.
these minutes felt like hours, i paced the bathroom and waited. gently humming to a tune i look out the window and watch a car pull up outside, it looked like mick. i groan slightly, he never came round unless nikki was here.
the front door clicked open and i heard the fridge go, looking back in the sink the test came out negative. i let out a disappointed sigh and think when my last period was. i has definitely missed it this month. pissing on the last stick, i ran downstairs and saw mick sipping on a beer,
"you alright?" i ask.
mick doesn't even turn around, "yea, you?" i grumble a reply,
"mick, could you do my a favour?" i ask sweetly, he turns and looks at me, "could you go to the shop and get me a pregnancy test?"
micks eyes go wide and shock spreads across his face, mick gives a slight nod.
"does nikki know?" he asks standing in the door way, i look at him and nod,
"he wanted a baby."

one positive and one negative, to say i was confused was an understatement. looking at one then back at the other, i frown long and hard. mick knocks gently on the door and i open it, he hands the box to me,
"i'm going to get going."
"you only came round for a beer?" i ask confused, mick nods.
"didn't feel like going out tonight and i didn't have any beer in my fridge. knew you would though." i give a confused nod and watch him walk away and watch his car pull away.
i did two more test, if i had one of each again, i would have to go to the hospital in the morning.
my heart pounded in my chest as i wait for both of them to finish.
three positive and one negative. did that mean i was pregnant? smiling from ear to ear, tears prickle in my eyes and i put them into my handbag. i rush out of the house and drive to vince's where i assumed they'd all be at a party.
running inside i don't even knock on the door, i run past razzle and haley making out on the sofa and push past tommy making him wobble on his feet,
      "l-dog!" he shouts from behind me,
      "have you seen nikki?" i ask scanning the room, "i need to see nikki." tommy looks at me confused as to why i was rushing him,
        "trying the kitchen."
running into the kitchen i slide a little across the floor. nikki looks at me a bit concerned,
        "what's up angel?" he asks rolling a joint.
saying nothing, i grab his hand and pull him upstairs to the bathroom. in there were people shagging, making them jump i push them out of the bathroom and lock the door behind us.
        "what've you been on? ecstasy?" nikki asks laughing, i rummage around in my handbag and throw the pregnancy tests in the sink,
       "look, nikki." i squeal.
nikki holds the three pieces of plastic in his fingers and squints at them in the dull lighting,
"what do the lines mean?"
laughing i hold his hand, "nikki, i'm pregnant." he slowly looks up at me, a smile on his face. he laughs and shakes his head,
"you're not fucking around with me are you?" he asks excitedly, i shake my head no.
nikki's arms pick me up and spin me around, laughs escaping his ups, he brings me down to his level and kisses me,
"are you happy?" i ask.
nikki nods, tears almost forming in his eyes but he doesn't let them fall. he holds me tight to his chest again and rocks us back and forth.
skipping down the stairs, nikki turns the music down and everyone stares at us annoyed.
"lizzie and i have some fucking great news." nikki shouts so everyone can hear, glancing at mick he was already smiling, who knew what was coming, "lizzie has just found out she is pregnant."
tommy rushes up to me, he goes to grab me like usual but slows his pace down and gently hugs me lifting my feet from the ground ever so slightly,
"you'll be a great mum liz." tommy whispers in my ear, "thank you tommy." i reply.
everyone comes up and hugs us both, vince takes my hand and pulls me to the side,
"if nikki isn't around, i'm more than happy to be your birthing partner." vince was being serious, there wasn't a hint of joke in his tone at all. i nod slightly with a smile,
"thank you vin."
vin kisses my cheek and we both go back to the party, nikki drapes and arm around my shoulders and everyone does a toast.
i couldn't believe this was happening.