Definitions <3 (Skeppy Fanfic)

Chapter 11

Suggested by sunrayAvian 💕
an·he·do·ni·a
/ˌanhēˈdōnēə,-hi-/
noun
inability to feel pleasure.

Zak POV

I took a deep breath and got into character.

One.

Two.

Three.

"Yo, hows it going guys, welcome to another video." I said in an enthusiastic voice, "So today I'm doing sky block trolling."

I continued to record in a really loud and obnoxious voice. When I finally finished I ended the recording and sighed.

"Well that was boring." I mumbled.

What happened to me enjoying recording?

Did I just loose interest?

I wish that was why but I know it's not true.

Ever since I was 16 my life completely spiraled out of control. I lost touch with my my family and friends. I felt as if noting could make me happy anymore. It was true.

Later I was diagnosed with something called anhedonia. It's where you can't feel enjoyment from anything you do.

People usually think that it's like being a sociopath but it's not. A sociopath can't have emotions, I have emotions.

It really sucks because I can't feel enjoyment but I can still feel sad. Almost everyday of my life I feel sad, like my whole world is crashing down on me.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I feel so lost.

I don't like to tell anyone about this because it usually weirds them out. So I just created a fake laugh. A fake smile, fake enthusiasm, I fake everything.

And I hate that I need to do that.

But that's just my life.

And I have to deal with it.

Sorry for the short chapter 😬

Should I do a part 2 on this?