Daylight (Kaylor)

Broken nights (11.)

A/N- I wanted to write a longer chapter but also wanted to publish asap so its not that long as I'd wanted it to be but I think I'm progressing with my writing through the story

We went to bed after our wish. I still wonder what Karlie wished for. We brushed our teeth together at the small sink. I could swear I saw her stealing glances at me through the mirror. ~Ha you're just imagining that, don't be stupid~ the voices came back. Just when I needed them. Stupid me. I'm so stupid so so stupid.
How could I even think something nice could happen. Something that would make me wanna continue my life. I always get my hopes up about everything and then of course my own mind fucks everything up.
"I'm going to bed." I mumbled with a stern expression on my face and got put of the bathroom. I could feel Karlie knew something was wrong. ~Why do you think you know someone elses feelings when you don't even understand your own~ "Okay you're right just leave me alone now" I said while getting in bed. I want to get rid of that sweet fuzzy feeling my best friend gives me. I'm not good. I'm noot good for anything nor anyone. I don't even know what love is, and if this was love then the right thing would be to let her go.

Karlies POV

Why is Taylor suddenly acting so weird? Maybe I'm crossing the line too much lately. Maybe I'm making her too uncomfortable with my stupid teasing but I can't help mysef. She's so cute when she tries to hide her blush even tho her sparkling blue eyes always give her away. The cute face she makes when she's writing in her journal or when she gets lost in her thoughts is so enchanting. I wish I could read her thoughts. Sometimes I think I can but then she surprises me with a sudden change in her mood.

I got lost in my daydream I didn't even realize I stopped brushing my teeth and the toothpaste stained my shirt. I'm such a klutz especially around Tay.

I got out of the bathroom and saw Taylor already under the covers. Pretending to be asleep. Why was she avoiding me now and half an hour ago she was trying to trick me into telling her my wish. She almost succeeded...and I almost lied to her. I can't tell her my wish, it will never become reality anyway...but I also can't lie to her.

"Taybeaar I know you're awake" I told her trying to interpret some goofy voice from a cartoon. She opened her eyes but didn't smile. There was no sparkle in her eyes, she just looked sad. Her expression reminded me of the time we first met. When she tried to convince me to get away from her for my own good. It sent shivers down my spine and gave me a heartache. She deserves nothing but happiness. Can I make her happy??

"Whats wrong Taytay?? Please talk to me, don't shut me out" I said with pleading voice, slowly sitting down on her bed. She just kept staring at me in silence. I wanted to help her so much but I didn't know how. I want to see the smile on her face again, the one she gave me when I made a stupid joke. The one she reserved just for me, the smile she had when she held her guitar. It's gone now...that smile...and it hurts.
"Did I do something?? Please talk to me Taylor, I'm scared...scared for you, please just tell me whats on your mind" I pleaded.
I could tell she was debating whether or not to open her soul to me. I wanted her to do so so bad. If only she put her guard a bit down and let me in. I know its not easy...wait I'm doing the same thing.
Stupid stupid stupid.

I got in her bed slowly at first. Silence still.
I rolled over on top of her "I'm gonna suffocate you If you don't start talking to me" I said trying to make her laugh. She just remained still and silent. Okay Kloss lets go for the step two. I started tickling her sides and she started laughing finally. "KARLIEEE STOOP" she was screeching but I wasn't gonna stop yet. "Will you talk to me??" I said battling her trying to push me of off her. "Just stop Karlie" she repeated. I know I was torturing her, she hated being tickled but I had no other option. Well..maybe I could be normal human being and let her sleep...naahhh it's better like this.

"Karlie please stop" she quietly said this time. I could feel the pain in her voice so I stopped. She always talked to me, why wouldn't she now?? "What's wrong princess?" I tried one more time.

"I'm not a princess" she sniffled "I am a fuck up and I ruin everything" she added quietly. I saw her broken look and again it reminded me of the day we met.

"How could you say that you goof, of course you are a princess! You have that beautiful blonde hair and big blue eyes that shine brighter than stars in the night. Plus you are insanely gorgeous and talented...and that red lip classic thing you have is so princess like" I started rambling and making uncoordinated hand gestures out of desperation to make her smile.

She finally cracked a small smile. Yesssss point for Kloss!! And then she started crying. Lost my point, damn. Wait fuck the points she's crying.

"Taylor please, let me help you if I can" I won't let this go.

"You can't help me Karlie. You can't. You need to get away from me because you'll get hurt. Everyone around me leaves or dies so please just let me be alone, for your sake, please I can't bring you down with me." She finally spoke...obviously she knew me too well to know I won't leave her alone untill she tells me whats wrong.

"Don't be silly Tay, where would I go?? I told you I'm not leaving, you are everything I have. You're my best best buddy." The look in her eyes didn't change. She was so sad and I couldn't help. It won't stop me from trying though. "Taaaaylooor do you think I won't torture you until you smile?"

Again she remained silent. "Okay,I'll stop...but I'm not going anywhere so move and share that blanket" I told her seriously.
She did so and I flopped down next to her making her jump up from the bed. I started stretching and hitting her lightly with my arms and legs. At the end settling almost on top of her. I swear she got at least a bit amused. This is gonna be a looong Christmas night. Wow it's Christmas. Seeing as Tay was in her thoughts and close to sleep I let myself dive in my happy memories...the few I've had.

Most of them were with Taylor. That time we sat under the tree in the crisp autumn air. Enjoying the scenery of colorful leaves in silence. Me enjoying looking at her pink cheeks and curly hair that stuck out of her beanie. Quickly my mind switched to that time she decided to cut her hair. She was so scared the hairdresser would cut more of her hair than she wanted so she asked me to do it. The excited but scared Taylor jumping around her bathroom trying to find all of the equipment we "needed". It ended up with me almost tying her down to a chair, cutting her hair carefully with kitchen scissors. I told her to close her eyes and every time I saw her peaking I'd remind her I was holding the scissors and her hair. It was such a funny night. I did a pretty good job I must say. Tay loved her new haircut which I first thought she just acted like not to hurt my feelings, but after realizing she really did love her short hair.

Short hair brought back the memories of my early childhood. I was barely eight years old and was already my lanky self. I don't know exactly why but probably because I was a sporty type and my hair was difficult to handle while I was dancing ballet or playing hockey I let my mom cut my hair. I said she could cut it as short as she'd like. So she literally put a bowl on my head and cut my hair and shortened my fringe. I looked even funnier than before if that was humanly possible. But I didn't care. I didn't care until people made me care. Until they started calling me names, pushing me, avoiding me...and I didn't know why. I lost all of the control over my life so I started starving myself. That was the only thing I could control at the time. Focusing on not eating made me forget about not being invited to birthday parties, I didn't have to think about sitting alone at lunch, I'd just skip it....and so on...Until I met Taylor. I've really been trying to get better, for her...and I know she did the same for me. We can help each other, I need to believe in that and I need her to believe. She was always the dreamer, the dreamier one, she made me believe in impossible, in magic,in destiny and true love. She made me believe again.

Thinking of her I turned my gaze away from the ceiling and looked at her. She had her back facing me and I remembered something we would do when one of us was too tired to talk. I started writing words with my finger on her back. Words turned into sentences, sentences into stories. I couldn't sleep anyway.

'Karlie ♡ Taylor' I wrote on her back as the morning light started to shine.