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(Songs - Look at those eyes and Lighthouse by Alexz Johnson)

It was late. I didn't know what time it was exactly as I didn't have my phone. No one came in to check on me. I thought maybe I was having a nightmare of being stuck alone in a drak room that was not mine. It wasn't a nightmare. It was real. Thoughts started swirling in my mind. How is Karlie?? Is she still here??

I started thinking about my feelings. Was I sad?? Empty maybe...I dont know. I... I'm so lost. I haven't seen anyone since I woke up...just that nurse...or was that a dream or a hallucination?? I missed my room but at the same time I liked the quiet here. I deserved to spend my birthday like this. My mom probably doesn't want to see me. Karlie neither. What if she really is in a coma and she wasn't the one who supposedly tried to see me earlier. What if she is not okay. I'm so stupid. I can't help her from here. I need help, but she does too. Shes worth so much more then me.

Why universe?? Why would you try to kill the sunshine. Its like a never ending storm. Clouds constantly covering the sun and the sun fighting back until it gets too tired and just lets the clouds suffocate it. Then the rain starts and after the storm there was supposed to be a rainbow and the sun is supposed to shine brighter then before.
Rain is supposed to wash away the pain. Storms are supposed to make us clean.
There also needs to be an ending of a storm and in my world the storm never stops. It just gets uglier and uglier until all you can do is hide away and try to wait untill its gone.

Just as the train of thoughts was going through my mind I realized the voices were quieter than usual. Like I was high. They must've given me some good drugs. I couldn't keep my mind on one thought for more then a second. Karlie. Mom. Me. Death. Die. Sunshine. Clouds. Storms. Pain. Numb. Empty. Song. Outside. My room. What. Why. How?!

As my mind slowly calmed down I heard the sound of rain slowly hitting the window of my room. The window had no handle. Means I can't open it. Means I can't go. I'm basically in a jail for "my own good".
I needed to remove all of the thoughts from my head so I tried focusing on the rain. It worked. I just thought about the rain. About those drops. Every single drop hits the ground and dies alone. After that tragic end they form a puddle and are all together again. Maybe that's how it works with people too.
The puddles drain tho...what then??
What then??
Why can there never be an answer. An answer that has no sub questions.

My thoughts were interrupted by the door knob slowly turning. The door let out a silent squeal. Is this the end?? Am I dying??

As the person stepped in I immediately realized who it was. Two green eyes glistened in the dark. Karlie!

"How are you here??" I said trying to get up but I couldn't. Everything hurt. Pain shot through me and I felt a thousand cuts stinging. I didn't mind tho. My buddy was here, she was alive and she came to see me.

"Shusss" Karlie shushed me quickly.
"I'm not supposed to be here, I literally ran away from the nurses, they'll soon figure out where I am, but I had to come and see you"she added. I just stared at her. I couldn't find the words to say. I was just so happy to see her standing here. She was probably mad. She must me mad at me.

"Kar?? Are you mad??" Silence. "I'm sorry " I added "I was so scared I thought I lost you" I continued until she interrupted me.

"I'm not mad...your mom came to see me when I woke up and she told me how you blamed yourself. After that I tried coming down to see you but thwy wouldn't let me. I started making trouble so they sedated me" she laughed shortly.

"I'm so happy you're alive Tay, you got me so scared there for a minute"

"Same goes for you" I replied. I could never be mad at her. She could literally hate me and I would still love her.

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