What I see is not as you see. For I see as you act even so subtly without barely a twitch. I read every movement, every glance. I see how you react to my words almost as if I could orchestrate the entire conversation if I were so bold. Occasionally I test the waters to see how easily I can guide the cattle to the slaughter. I wonder, though, if there are others playing the same game with me. Exchanging pleasantries is such a bore that I would much rather not say a word at all and just walk away. I may appear a bore to most but that is only because you all bore me to death! Intellectual, substantial recharging is long overdue. I long for someone to open my mind up to worlds infinite! Revive my soul with your imagination! Inject my veins with life! Let me rise above the robotic refuse that surrounds me! I once believed that there must be some place where I would fit like a glove. Now I realize that it is in solitude where I flourish . . . yet suffer. It isn't a place that mattered but a person. To connect on multiple levels, all levels, exploring each adventurous dimension after another, feeding off one another, then . . . then life would feel complete. I call out the cowards and yet I am just as weak. Unable to fulfill my dreams or reach my goals. Wasting time like the rest of the mindless. A pillar of salt in a field of statues drowning in shallow waters. Memories of the past squeeze blood out of a sponge like heart. Is it a form of protection to act like an undomesticated animal ripping away the flesh in order to dominate my surroundings? Like a dormant volcano under pressure, I wait, wait to overflow with a rage so strong that destruction is imminent. But, there is always an inner voice of reason to calm the savage beast. Consequences. Interuption of peace. And so goes round the carousel.
