You know what the best thing about having a cold when you really want to cry? No one knows and won't disturb you. They'll just think that you're sniffing bcuz of a blocked nose, and most of all, they won't care. You can cry how much ever you want and not worry about your cries being heard. At least there is one thing about this cold that I'm actually happy about. I am crying and I'm not fine. HECK! How can someone be fine if their heart isn't with them?
I want to tell someone how I'm feeling right now, but guess what? No one either cares or is worried about me. But it's a good thing cuz I myself don't know what I'm feeling, or why I'm feeling this way...
But there's one thing for sure. I miss home, MY HOME! I miss it every time I look at this breaking house (which makes sense, cuz it wasn't right from the very foundation of it). I miss it when I come back to the foul smell due to the leakage from the house above this apartment. I miss it when I go back through my photo gallery. I miss it, like today, when I had Tava Pulav for the first time in four months. But most of all, I miss home because this is just a house that would rather be a house than a home.
I miss that warmth I felt in the harshest of winters. I miss that first day of fall when I could wear my most favourite boots. I miss the time whenever it snowed and I'd put on Ishq Wala Love and image us. I miss the time when I'd make hot chocolate instead of coffee to enjoy the warm drink in contrast to the cool wind. I miss my desk where I actually studied. I miss my people, who suffered through classes with me, but made the most beautiful and cherished memories in school. I miss the school that I didn't hate to go to.
Mostly, I miss you. I miss Mom and Dad. I miss my baby girl. I miss the family that doesn't even know I exist, the family I call mine although I have no right to.
I don't know why I'm here, but one thing's for sure. I'm literally ready to do anything to go home. Anything which will take me back to you, Mom, Dad, and my baby girl, I'm ready. Even if it's my life, I don't care. All I want is, to be where my heart is. In simpler words, I want to be with MY family in a HOME, not some visually breaking house with two "adults" who don't even take my opinion or voice into consideration for anything...
