(11) something's changed

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JASPER

***

Nothing goes right for me tonight.

I lost her. That means I'm on edge because I lost her, and that means I'm hostile, unfriendly and grouchy for the whole afternoon. I snap at everyone, some more than others.

I have literally no idea where she went, but when I finally get to where Ziggy and the others had set up camp about thirty minutes later, she wasn't there. I even went back on myself to look for her, but nothing. By the time I got back to the campfire I was frantic, having looked all up and down the beach, even walking near the sea. Nothing.

Where the fuck is she?

After another forty five minutes, I try to be cool about it, pretending to go for swim twice, offering to do runs to the store for more beer. I just wanted to see if I could spot her, but everyone kept saying they didn't need anything. After I offered a fourth time and Ziggy smirks as he says no, I bite my tongue to stop myself from accusing them of being knobs on purpose. I couldn't see her, and as forty five minutes turned to two hours with no sign of her, I was in full blown panic mode.

"What the fuck is up with you?" Glennie asks me when I'd done my second head swivel in as many minutes.

"What? Nothing." I throw a pile of sand on the fire. "I'm bored. Does anyone want food?" I ask it for the fifth time, hoping for a positive response this time, now that I'm offering food. With several smoking weed, surely the munchies must be kicking in by now. I mean, I was genuinely hungry so chances are some of the others were. It's the only thing I can say that can get me back to my truck and away from the beach to search for her properly. She could walked home... which was monumentally stupid... but I wouldn't put it past someone trying to escape my friends.

"I could eat." I look up and I want to shout in celebration. One taker was all I needed. "You want some company?" Lana asks, but I shake my head. She's only asking me to make Ziggy jealous, and I'm not playing that game. I'm not sure how much that'll work anyway, given he's been fawning all over Steph. It'll just make him pissed at me more than anything else.

As I look across the fire, Ziggy has an arm around her, and the two are only a few inches apart. They've been connected at the hip since they left the truck and I don't really know how I feel about it, let alone Lana. Although I can certainly see how Lana feels about it, and she is clearly torn between keeping quiet and bitching him out. She's livid, but clearly choosing to keep quiet. But there's still no way I'm getting in the middle of it all.

Ziggy had been the reason I'd got into trouble in my second year. I wouldn't have said I was an upstanding citizen anyway, but I can definitely say he's had a hand in most of the other stupid shit that I'd done. He's not the worst. But as he has absentee parents that have never imposed rules to follow, he's not that easy to say no to. Once you've impressed him, he doesn't let go of you. And I was just worried that Steph would learn that the hard way tonight.

I shake my head at Lana. "Nah, I'll just take orders."

I say it with enough surety that no one contradicts me. I've been on food runs before on nights out, especially when we're on the beach as I'm usually the only one who can be bothered. The beach places close quite early, and it's expensive, so the drive back down to campus for Cookout is always a good shout. I didn't mind anyway. I could even check her apartment if she wasn't on the beach, so to cover my tracks, I'd be heading past Cookout anyway. And hey, if I found her on the way, then that was a bonus.

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