The love she never knew

After Dinner

Dinner was the last place you wanted to go but you went anyway. There wasn't a way to go around it. You wore a purple evening gown, hating every minute of it. When you reached the dinning hall the complete choas was revealed. The blonde was arguing with the hairdresser about something, you tried not to listen to them. Everyone else was waiting for the meal to be served as you took your seat. The first day you chose your seat, the one next to Ms.Venable. It wasn't much of a choice, that was the only seat left but it has since become your chair. The others would switch things up, move seats and such, but you didn't. You loved sitting next to her. Her presence made you feel safe. You continued to sit, waiting for your food and waiting for Venable to arrive. Normally she arrived with Ms.Mead but today she was already in her seat but the auburn was nowhere to be found. Something inside of you said that you scared her off from the moment you shared with her in the library. You were drowning in your thoughts before they were interrupted. "Ms.Starr, you need to eat your food." a soft voice rang. You were to busy in your own mind that you didn't even notice the older woman enter the room, or sit down next to you. "Oh, sorry." you returned without making eye contact. In public, you had to pretend that she was just Ms.Venable, the heartless woman, but having to do that killed you a little on the inside. You ate your food rather quickly, trying to get this part of the day over as fast as you possibly could. The other purples talked amongst themselves, fully engulfed in their individual conversations so when you left the hall, nobody noticed your absence, nobody except Wilhemina. Once you left the hall you decided to go to your room. You weren't in the mood to go into the library and you wanted to change into something more comfortable. The pajamas you had looked just a old as the dress. When you got into your room and closed the door the first thing you did was unzip the dress and let it fall to the ground. Without much effort you stepped out of it and unbuttoned the corset that had been restricting your breath since you put it on. Now you were left in your bra and underware standing in front of your closet when you heard a knock on the door. There was no warning given to the door suddenly opening which caught you off guard. "Oh my." you exclaimed grabbing the nearest piece of fabric to cover your almost naked body trying to sheild yourself from the gaze of whoever opened the door. "Ember, sorry, I had no clue you were changing."the familiar voice sang. You knew who that was without looking and suddenly you dropped the only thing covering you. "Wilhemina, it's completely fine. You just gave me a scare, that's all." you smiled as you continued to change in front of the leader. Normally changing in the sight of anyone made you nervious and anxious but with Wilhemina that was different. Maybe it was because you knew she would never judge you or maybe it was because after the apocalypse you had nothing to care about. You grabbed the nightgown from your wardrobe and slipped it over your head. Like all of your other clothes it was a light purple shade, lavender maybe, you couldn't tell for sure with the poor lighting in the outpost. "So what brings you to my room?". You turned around to face the older woman. "Well after dinner I thought you were going to meet me in my room but I figured that after you decided to wait in your own room. It appears I was correct." she chuckled softly. "Fair enough." you shrugged. With one move you grabbed her hand and guided her to sit on the bed next to you. "I don't really know that much about you so I was thinking we could maybe chat about life before all of this, our childhood, school, those sort of things.". It was true, you didn't really know her and she didn't really know you. Most of your memories were hazy, sometimes it was like they weren't even your own but that was impossible, they were yours. "Well I was an only child, my mother a drunk and my father a rapist. He was never in my life but that never bothered me. I hated him for what he did to my mother. I never did well in school and nobody talked to me. I was an outcast at school and at home. The only people who ever talked to me were the teachers. That just made me a teachers pet. I didn't go to college. After high school I continued to work at the library. My life until this point has been nothing but boring. The only exciting part was my dog. I loved her to death. She died before the apocalypse." you explained. "I'm so sorry Ember, I wish I could have met you before all of this, maybe our lives would have been much different if we just knew each other.". You wished you met her before but that is not what fate had in store. "What about you, how was your life before the whole end of the world thing?". Wilhemina took a breath more thanlikely trying to calm her nerves. You took her hand into yours and carsessed it. "I had a sister, she was the obvious favourite. I was the defective child, no one ever cared about me. Not in school, not at home. Everyone avoided me because I was different, because of my disability. Some people joked that I was a monster or a failed science experiment. I tried not to listen to what they were saying about me but I couldn't block it out. When I became older I started to stop caring about others, I made them fear me. They called me a monster so I gave them one to fear. Eventually I became an intern for two numbskulls who could only work when they were high on cocaine. It is still a mystery to me as to how they didn't overdose. As much as they irritated me, they were the only ones who never mentioned my disability. They treated me like they would treat woman. They made me the leader of this outpost.". The light of the candle danced across her face, illuminating her beauty. You stared in awe, lost in your own thoughts. "What is it? Is something wrong." She worried. "Nope, just admiring your beauty." you brushed her cheek with your hand as you spoke, making the older woman blush. "I wish we could spent more time together. I hate not being able to just talk to you whenever your around." you stated. The hardest part about everything was not being able to openly speak with her, you had to hide, pretend you feared her. "I know Ember, I dislike it just as much as you but there are rules in the outpost for a reason. They are to keep everyone safe, to make sure you will survive until the earth is ready for us to return.". She was right, every rule had a purpose. You just didn't understand the no sex rule but figured it has to do with the risk of pregnancy. "There might be a way for us to spend more time together. No one would suspect anything and we could talk whenever we wanted.". This excited you. "Well what is it. I would do anything.". She smirked at you and raised her hand to sit on your pale cheek.