What if? An anthology

The Lost Chapter

Verse 0

'The saddest stories are the ones that are real.'

I came back with my head held high. Jury service was a bit of a drag and I knew I didn't like it, that wasn't nice. He raped those two children, it was utterly utterly morbid and the descriptions of those acts was just disgusting it made my stomach turn.
I had returned to work and on my first day back, a customer shouted at me but I didn't care I just let him shout. I couldn't help but think what was happening at home it made me sad, I just felt so alone and all I  wanted was someone to tell me that everything was all right. I didn't know what it was but all I wanted was for someone to hold me every night and hug me, I just wanted a boyfriend to help me get through it all.
It was a shame of what happened to my sister and he broke her heart, with my dad going into hospital with a hernia, one of my relatives dying. It was all down hill from there.
I wanted someone to be there for me, that wasn't a family member but I had to get through it all. I didn't even get the role of Team Leader I was never even given a chance. It was terrible and I felt down all the time, emotionally. I was hoping something or maybe even someone to be there for me. Was that so wrong of me for wanting something like that? My mind was clouding my judgement.

A tear fell down my face. It was the assessment/engagement day, I met with both Jimmy and Mark in the foyer, so instead I made myself a cup of tea. We were allowed to get a drink from concessions but I was tired and needed a pick me up so I made a cup of tea. I walked in with Andy and Glenn. I sat down and all I did was listen and sometimes contribute to what was said, I didn't even realise that there was so much more to being a team leader than I realised that I was happy enough with being a team member, minding my own business, doing my work cleaning and occasionally conversing with customers.
We were having a five minute break of which I went for a quick toilet break and made myself another cup of tea. I sat down next to Glenn.

"Elle, you like wine don't you?" He asked me.
"Yes."
"You have most evenings off this week, don't you?" He asked another question.
"Yes, why?"

He then went on to say something else but I couldn't really hear him, but he did lean back to reveal a smiling Andy. How did this go from a professional meeting to a personal meeting, just to ask me out on a date, I would never know? Yet I found this strange, when I realised in an email Andy sent me. That I wasn't going to be on the investment day but through to a one to one session to talk about my next steps in my development. I was still on jury service, I never had a chance to be a team leader and that upset me a bit. Glenn told me that if I applied it wouldn't matter, I had every right to be mad at him right now. Then he decided to do an assessment day for the applicants of whom applied but didn't get through the next round.

"Elle, do you get nervous?"  Andy asked.

This really was getting personal for me, everything that was being said. Maybe I shouldn't really judge but it wasn't that nice having been asked out and then asked if I get nervous in certain situations, I don't know what was happening but i wasn't enjoying myself anymore.
It was nearing the end, hopefully.

"Well I do want to say if you do apply for the position ever again, the door is open for all of you."

I felt like I was being stabbed in the back while the door was being slammed in my face.
I didn't know what to think but I knew that I had to get over it regardless, I was coming into work knowing that nothing had happened. It still made me want to cry though.
Everyone left, I was walking up to swipe out and my emotions got the better of me. I started to cry. Andy walked past me when I was crying, I was trying to shield myself from him noticing me crying. That I sat down in the staff room crying my eyes out.