What Lies Ahead

Chapter six ( part six)

  It had been two weeks since the Dr. Appointment. Today was my first chemo treatment. When I arrived I was guided to a room where more people were hooked up to IV drips. I was way over nervous and scared. So I tried to breath in and out and relax.
     The nurse also made sure I was very comfortable. But I also had some questions to ask first before anything.  " What activities can I do to pass the time? " Once the IV was in my arm, which hurt by the way, she spoke.  " Well you can play a game, read a book, watch some TV. Take a nap." Her smile was super reasuring. That is when the drop hit big time. Making me very sick to my stomach. My stomach ached and I felt dizzy. The nurse gave me water and told me to drink it slowly.
         " How long will this last?" I was so curious. To me I was hoping 30 minutes at most. " It is four hours for you. It's different with everyone. " As I sighed I also  shook my head.  That explains alot. Deciding to read was a wonderful idea. Books take you to places you only wish u could go. Right now I wanted to be far away. Away from all the pain and lonliness. But it's not like the books or movies this was real life. It's not all sunshine and rainbows.
   " Hey! Psst, your first time?" That voice came from behind me. It started me. But I managed not to let it show so much.
  " Um yes it is. You?" I asked nicely.  " No fourth time." Oh my goodness four times! I can barley stand it past one. Something in the back of my mind told me to quit and give up. To let it take its toll. But I also knew I could not, for my family's sake. Things seemed to die down fast the person behind me was asleep. So I decided to go to sleep as well my mouth wide open.
      It only seemed like a few minutes but it was really four hours. The clock in the wall read 6pm. I was in utter shock and speechless. That could not be the right time. Once I was fully awake I grabbed my stuff and headed out not setting up another appointment. To be honest I was not feeling so well and wanted to lay down.
     " How did it go sweetheart?" Mom asked. Felt a cold chill enter my body. My stomach got tight. I ended up throwing up at the toliet. But as I threw up I had to remember this is for my family.
       " Oh honey remember this whole thing will pass. " As I tried to breath I rolled my eyes. " Open the door please." My mom said, was I exhausted? Did I wish I could stop throwing up for two seconds so I can breath. Yes to both. But unfortunately nature had other plans. Mom took one look at me and got teary eyed. Could tell she hated seeing me like this. What choice did I have?
      Could not go back and change time even if I wanted to. Mom must have walked away and really who. Could blame her. Being alone right now was great. One breath in and out so far so good. But as I tried to stand up I got super dizzy and lightheaded. Chemo must have done a number on me. I was not really expecting this to happen. Took a step balencing myself on the countertop. But I was weak. My mom pushed the door out of the way ready to grab me. Grabbing my arm slightly they led me to my room into my bed. Tucking me into bed.  That left a permentant smile on my face.
   " Thanks mom."
     " Anytime get some sleep." Something told me I should have spoken to her. But then. Again I was do tierd. To keep my eyes open. So I ended up drifting off to sleep to the sound of music and pouring rain outside my window.