Kim Ha Na have been crushing on Tony Lington since forever, met when she was seven and he was twenty-two.
Separated by distance, Ha na grows up just fine. When life brought a whole wrath of surprise, bringing her childhood crush back to her life ag...
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Laugher has always been the Kim's most recognizable sound whenever anybody walked past their house, but it wasn't anymore.
The aura of happiness which has always been taken for granted have been replaced by silent, sobs and pain.
Mr. Kim has been discharged for a week and none of them ever really smile. Frown has become a norm in everyone's face. Mrs Kim no longer grumbles over small little things, instead, she is almost as good as silent.
Ha Na couldn't accept the sorrows that is happening in her home, she either stay late in the university just to avoid the bitterness at her very own nest or she would spend an hour an the convenience store when she is hungry. Although the food is plain and way unhealthier than Mrs Kim's cooking, but she doubt her mom would cook anymore decent meal since Mr. Kim will be going through chemotherapy every few weeks.
The spicy rice cake in front of her is flavorful, but it wouldn't make her mood any better except providing calories for her.
The store is where she find solace, since nobody would initiate any talk, there's only the lady at the cashier and a young man in his army uniform having his black bean sauce noodle.
On the other hand, Tony is pretty much caught up with his project, it's the most crucial period towards completion and he tried to squeeze in any available time just to contact Ha Na even though he only slept four hours a night.
Ha Na: You need more rest than I do, oppa
Tony: I'm fine, I want to chat with you.
Ha Na: when are you coming back...?
A pang of guilt shoot through his chest whenever Ha Na ask that question. He wanted to be back, he did, more than she ever know, but if he ever did, this project, this national project would be ruined and all his team mate would be sabotaged. The spiral effect would caused so much problem like a snowballing effect. He couldn't take that risk.
He hates to type any reply regarding that question because he doesn't have the answer, it would be like hoaxing a kid with a candy and he doesn't want it.
Tony: sorry, Ha Na, I am really sorry...
Ha Na: I know...oppa, it's okay...
Every time Ha Na told him 'it's okay', it would feel like she is a big fat liar. She isn't okay. She needed him more than anyone else, but Ha Na knows that she has to behave rationally.
Slowly, as days passed by, their conversation shrinks to nothing more than denial and bottling up their feelings.
'Aboeji, I bough this orange for you,' Ha Na presented the oranges that was imported from other parts of Asia. It's almost winter in Seoul.
'Ha Na, we've got plenty of orange farm in Jeju, why would you buy the imported ones?' Mr Kim teased his daughter.
'This is really huge, you need a lot of vitamins for your body now,' Ha Na peeled the orange skin as she explains to her father.
'My daughter is the best, Tony would be so lucky if he ever marries you.' Mr Kim roared in laugher, that's the first sound of humor they heard in the household ever since Mr Kim is discharged.
Ha Na merely chuckles a little.
Mr Kim noticed his daughter's forceful smile, 'child, look at aboeji.' Mr. Kim requested.
'Yes?' Ha Na peel a slice of orange for her father.
'Something happened to Tony and you? Is it got to do with me?' Like a wise old man as he always been, he wasn't demanding an answer, instead, Mr Kim's ear has always been open for his daughter.
'No...' Ha Na shakes her head, 'it's not...' she avoided her father's glance.
'Ha Na,' Mr Kim called her name, when she refuses to look up and face her father, he continues to call her name.
'Aboeji,' finally, she mustered her courage to ask the most impossible question, perhaps even her mother wouldn't mutter those words as well. 'What if— what if the cancer...what are we going to do?' Ha Na sob.
Mr Kim sigh and look up the November sky, even when the sun is bristling bright, but the cold is beginning take over the season. 'Ha Na...' he pat Ha Na shoulder, 'if anything happened to me, promise aboeji that you will be strong, and I want you to be a tough lady, a warrior. Your mother is an iron lady, you shouldn't be anything lesser than her,' Mr Kim chuckles.
'How can I be strong when you are dying, aboeji?' Ha Na cried her heart out, all those emotions she has been avoiding and pretending has finally found a way to let loose, like a torrential rain slapping right to the ground. Her voice is hardly audible when she is suffocating from the throbbing of her tears and mucus.
'Silly child, everyone will leave this world, it's only a matter of time.' Mr Kim stroke Ha Na's hair, recalling the moment she was born and he was the first to held her in his hand.
'No, this is unfair,' Ha Na covers her face with her palm, unwilling to let her father saw her tears. 'There must be other options, we can try anything, right?'
'Child,' Mr. Kim secretly press his stomach, the pain in his stomach has been getting more frequent and the pain were ten times stronger than he can bear. 'You are still young, and this world have got too many things to offer, do what you love, and don't be bounded by anything, even your mother,' he paused to take a breath, hoping it can ease his pain a little, 'don't let your mother know I said those,' he manage or rather, he force a chuckle to comfort his daughter.
'Why are you telling me this, aboeji?' Ha Na's ugly cry soared higher, 'you are not dying, aboeji, my only wish right now is staying close to you and oh ma.'
'Silly child,' Mr. Kim gritted his teeth, 'Stop crying, look how ugly you have become, Tony would be petrified to see what you have become now, go, get some water and clean your face.' He ushered for her to head inside the house so he could express his pain.
When Ha Na steps inside the room, Mr. Kim bend his body forward, cold sweats oozing out from his body when the pain is spiraling through his body. He took more sharp inhale of breath, gripping his fist tight, but it can't stop the pain. The throbs in his organ felt like a thousand of sharp needles poking at him, he can't think about anything else besides the torture.
He did think of something else— the time is tickling...
