EᑕᕼOᒪᗩᒪIᗩ

𝓚𝓪𝓽𝓼𝓾𝓴𝓲 𝓑𝓪𝓴𝓾𝓰𝓸𝓾

The smell of disinfectant spray and sickness were first to assault my senses the moment we walked through the automated glass doors. It was not an unwelcome scent; it was just - a lot. The doors parted to let us through and I spared a brief glance at the glass. The smudgy handprints from toddlers marked up the clear panes and I looked away. I always liked those doors better than the ones that you had to push open. Those handles were always cold and too many people touched them without washing their hands. Eighteen percent of people do not wash their hands after using the restroom.

The fluorescent lights in this building were always too bright, but I had been here many times before. Complaining about them didn't help. No one seemed to understand that they were just too bright and hurt my head. No one seemed to understand what I wanted. That would only upset me further. I would close my eyes when the lights were hurting my head. More than once I would bump into people and things while trying to avoid another headache. They just didn't get it, I guess.

I squinted and cast my eyes down towards the white tile flooring as my mother kept a firm grip on my hand and hauled me off to yet another appointment. I wanted to pry my fingers from her grasp but she hated when I refused the contact she initiated with me. There were 332,000 genetically distinct bacteria on the human hand.

When I was a baby, mom would get upset when I cried or jerked away from her touch. I didn't understand why though. It's not like I was hurting her by not touching her. If anything, it was the other way around. It was uncomfortable having people touch me. My skin would itch and burn where we made contact. However, it was easier when I was younger. I just had to cry and scream and she would let go. Anyone would let go. Now, it was 'bad behavior' if I caused a scene in public and I was 'too old for that'.

"Katsuki," I flinched as my mom pulled me into the waiting room and ushered me onto the plastic-covered cot. I liked that these rooms were sterile - clean. It made it easier to sit still when I knew the germs weren't crawling all over my skin. I carefully climbed onto the cot and squinted up at the pannels of white lights above me. They hummed with energy and cast an annoyingly low buzz through the room, almost like bumblebees. But this was much worse than bumblebees. At least the bi-colored insects pollinated our planet for us. These lights only hurt my head.

"Hmm," I hummed in the back of my throat and narrowed my eyes more, casting my gaze back to the floor. These lights were always worse than the ones in the halls.

"Katsuki, are you listening?" I squinted at the floor and nodded. I was always listening. Mom gave a heavy sigh that I knew all too well. She sighed a lot over the years but I never really understood why though.

"Honey, this new doctor - she's really nice, okay?" I tilted my head some, listening to the buzz inside the light fixture above.

"Nice," I nodded slightly and pinched my thumb and forefinger together. The doctors were always nice in some way. I always left with candy while mom left - upset? I thought she was upset anyway.

"Yes, very nice. I've heard good things about her. She - She seemed like a good fit over the phone," I hummed again, and pinched my fingers together again. I had been to many of these before. When I was young, we were poor and mom couldn't afford to take me to the doctors often. I rarely went unless I was really sick. However, she got a new job about a year ago and the first thing she did was take me to see a doctor. I didn't know why; I wasn't sick.

Maybe she was worried about me missing all those years of check-ups and wanted to be extra certain I was healthy? Whatever the reason, she seemed to be looking for answers. I just didn't know the question - not really. Part of me knew that mom was asking about me. There was something wrong with me, or else we wouldn't be seeing different doctors every few months.