EᑕᕼOᒪᗩᒪIᗩ

𝚆𝚎𝚒𝚛𝚍

𝓚𝓪𝓽𝓼𝓾𝓴𝓲 𝓑𝓪𝓴𝓾𝓰𝓸𝓾

Eijirou was weird -- but not the bad kind of weird. He was more of a good weird. I tried to talk to him during lunch but I didn't do a good job with holding up my end of the conversation. I was so fucking nervous that all I did was insult him over his sandwich choice. Tuna fish was repulsing, but he was right, I wasn't the one eating it. 

Towards the end of our lunch period, I think I struck a nerve. I couldn't help but be curious. No one else in our whole school had hair like him. He stood out like a sore thumb in the hallways. Anyone could pick out his flaming red hair among a crowd. However, I noticed something he did more often than not. Eijirou played with his hair almost constantly. The guy combed his fingers through the strands almost obsessively throughout the day.

I didn't even mind that it distracted me. It wasn't like I didn't enjoy looking at him.  I especially liked his hair. Maybe because it matched his eyes? Or maybe I liked it so much because it was close to my favorite color -- sunset orange. Not neon or pastel orange. Sunset orange. That shade of orange was deep and warm with hues of red mixing together. Like Eijirou's hair. I liked his weird hair.

When I asked about it, I noticed him tense up. I didn't know why though. Part of me expected that to be the end of our friendship. So many times before I had opened my mouth and said the wrong thing to someone and instantly got my ass kicked. Somehow, the idea of Eijirou ever laying hands on me that way felt wrong. I doubted seriously that he was one for violence.

Despite my fears of retaliation, I was shocked when he replied to me. He told me he didn't like how he was before and so he changed. I wasn't an idiot and I understood what he meant by that. Somehow, whatever he didn't like about himself had to do with his hair. So, he changed it. He changed himself. I understood what it was like not liking something about yourself, so I didn't pry for details.

After lunch, we both threw our trash away and I grabbed my bag. The last half of the day always felt longer than the first half. Maybe it was because I didn't have any friends in those classes. Not that I considered Eijirou a friend just yet -- he was close enough.

"Well, this was fun. We should do it again sometime," Eijirou grinned at me and I stared at his mouth. He had almost perfectly straight and white teeth. His incisors were pointed and sharp. Fascinating. I ran my tongue over the surface my teeth and felt the slight point of my own -- nowhere near as sharp as his though.

"Yeah –" I replied with a curt nod, pulling my focus from his chompers before I freaked him out. My therapist told me that I should be more aware of my fixations, although it was rare that I fixated on a person – let alone a person's face. I normally hated looking at people. Or, I just didn't look at them long enough to notice and pick something that I liked looking at.

"Cool – Well, I'm off to class. See you later, man," He reached out and slapped my shoulder. My body tensed and I bit down on my tongue to stop myself from shouting at him. He didn't know. I needed to calm down. He didn't know. I watched as he walked off with a big smile and I frowned. My muscles twitched and I forced myself to relax while reminding myself that I was safe. I was okay.

I uncurled my fingers from where they were clenched, dug into the flesh of my palms. I wouldn't let this ruin my mood. I was not a little kid anymore. I was almost eighteen years old now and knew how to handle these things. Eijirou didn't know that I had issues being touched.

When I was younger, things like that would set me off. I would scream and hit anyone who touched me suddenly – or at all. My mom and dad were the only people that I didn't absolutely meltdown over when touched by. It wasn't like I had friends that I felt comfortable around enough to let touch me – let alone tell them about my condition.