Growing up in a hypocrite society isn't easy. When people judge you harshly without them looking at their own flaws and imperfections. Real hypocrites.
I was walking in the pathway of our school, one day. Tumingin man sa kanan o kaliwa, nakikita ko ang panghuhusga ng mga tao sa akin. The way their eyes survey me from head to toe- like a disgusting animal na ngayon pa lang nila nakita. I also equal their stares.
"Good morning, bes!"
Pilit akong ngumiti.
"Oh? Ang aga aga bad mood na? Naku! Itapon mo lahat ng negative! Start your day with a genuine smile!" Nakangiti niyang sabi.
Umiling ako at patuloy na naglakad. Justin's my boy bestfriend since elementary and until now. Siya lang ang natatangi kong kaibigan. I slightly laughed at his statement. He never fails to uplift my not-so-good mood.
"Wala 'to, ano!"
"Hmmm tara sa cafeteria. Pagkain lang ang katapat niyan!"
"Ayoko." Pangunguna ko.
"Oh? This is the first time you rejected me, huh?" Tumawa siya ng bahagya.
Napansin niya ang katahimikan ko kaya dahan-dahan na humina ang tawa niya.
"Ano ba talaga ang nangyari? Tell me," dagdag niya, seryoso na.
I took a glance at him then to my body. He sighed after realizing it.
Mataba, baboy, taba, o kahit ano pang ipangalan nila sa'kin. All that adjective synonym to "fat" describes me.
I am only 16 years old, turning 17 very soon and I'm obese. May insecurity ako sa katawan dahil sa pagiging mataba ko. Iyan din ang dahilan ng mga pangungutya nila sa akin. Since highschool, I got so big because I ate so hard.
"Binubully na naman ako, as usual. H'wag ka mag-alala, I'm so used to it but I guess, masyado akong emosyonal kanina. I'm okay," my lips rose in a slight smile.
"Rhea, you don't listen to what they say about you. Hayaan mo sila."
"Tama naman ang sinasabi nila, e. I'm fat and because of that, I am ugly. Gano'n naman talaga, 'di ba," I said it like a conclusion whirled in my mind.
"Why don't you exercise? Start a healthy lifestyle, bes..." with hesitation.
Tulala akong nakatingin sa kaniya. "You want me to change."
Sa totoo lang, madali talaga ako ma-offend kapag sinasabihan na magbago. Shame would crept in me but my pride's higher than that. Sa huli, I'd neglect it all then back to normal state.
I do not want to be controlled. I want to be in control of my own decisions without anyone's approval.
Kumunot ang noo niya. "Oy, chill! I am just suggesting. Don't take it seriously, bes. C'mon." Tumawa siya ng mapakla.
"Bakit ba ang big deal 'pag ika'y mataba, mapayat, pangit, o alinman sa mga yan na kapintasan? I presume we all have flaws and imperfections. Why not take a look at it rather than minding others?"
"It will always be a part of our system. Tsaka nasa Pilipinas tayo, ano pang bago?" Pareho kaming ngumisi.
"Nga pala, bes..." aniya.
May ginawa na naman siguro 'to. He's always touchy (nanghahawak ng kamay) whenever he has to tell me something. At kasalukuyan niya itong ginagawa sa akin.
"Huwag ka magulat sa sasabihin ko, ha. I know you'd support me," with confidence he spoke.
"Ano?"
