Dearest Mother,
I regret that I've been absent from our home for some 58 -- no, that's not quite right -- 59 dawns. But really, who's counting when I'm having such a grand time?
Oh, that's right... you are. Silly me!
In any case, my agenda here remains unfulfilled.
Yes, I have succeeded at conniving with earthly authorities to install some of this realm's most buffoonish personages in major positions of leadership. And not just the usual banana republics or maldeveloped nations. These are powerful lands, with grand histories, proud traditions, and control over instruments of epic annihilation. Others are private enterprises, with a reach that crosses oceans; intelligent machines capable of spreading weasely half-truths not readily discernible from fact. It's such fun, Mother!
But lately, it appears I've outdone even myself with this madness. There are now humans who would tempt fate by rejecting the elixirs that keep their mortality at bay. Others scoff at the marvels of science. They see a level plane in what was clearly demonstrated to be ovoid. And they would mock the scholars who offer irrefutable proof of their impending doom.
Ordinarily, I would tip my brim at such rampant craziness. And on my better days, I still do.
But more often than not, I feel pity. Maybe even remorse at my hand in these circumstances.
Perhaps you were correct, Mother. I may well be developing a conscience in my advanced years.
Oh well... Much to consider as I continue my sabbatical!
Lovingly yours,
Hatter
---
Submitted for the Mad Hatter Day 2019 contest by CoffeeCommunity ("Letter"), exactly 250 words
Header photo by Álvaro Serrano via Unsplash
