Paroxysm

Forgotten

I build my kingdom.
But I had forgotten that I will be alone.

I had protected my heart.
I had wrapped it with a chain.
I had forgotten, what I will do when one day the chain will be gone?

I freign to be a cruelest person.
Because I skeered people will break me.
But I had forgotten I am just making people run away from me.

I had closed myself in the room.
I had forgotten I will never be out of the room.
No window, no door.
Nothing to tell me what's outside the wall.

I had gathered the coldness around me.
But I had forgotten that warmth will melt it one day.

I replay every night the words.
I had forgotten they are making me numb day by day.

I pray every day to Allah to change me.
But I had forgotten that destiny is written with pen and not with pencil.

I put on a fake smile every morning,
just to hide the wan look of my soul.
I act like a fogey,
Just to never become someone's predilection.
But I had forgotten I was just lying to my self,
By closing away my desire self.

In the mirror, I look the same.
But truly I had forgotten who I am.