Why I won't make it as an influencer

"Life is an elevator. On your way up, you need to leave people behind"

When I was young, I used to blame people that tended to leave friends behind on their way up. I thought they were the ones to blame. It is easy to imagine that because you are successful, or trying to be you are actually the bad guy in the situation. Guess what, I was wrong. Things are more complex than that. And life was about to teach me a lesson. One of those she had and hid for the good reason. In fact, we are humans. Be surrounded by friends with ambition, plans, ideas... That could act as a reminder of what you lack of. This is not jealousy involved here. This is what I call the "mirror effect". Friends are your mirror. You see a reflection of yourself through their achievements. Watching them spreading their wings is facing your own failures, your life choices, your self-disappointment...Why is it working for her, not for me? Where does she get those ideas not me? Where does she find the courage to try those things when I just don't? Will she be successful? What's wrong with me? Will I ever live the life she lives? Am I satisfy with my own life? And the things we all do when we have plans, ideas and so on are going to seek advice and help from our friends without questioning that. 

Of course, you have those who are very enthusiastic and willing to help. They help as much as they can because it seems normal or because that's a way for them to be part of your plan and get a little satisfaction from it.  And they are those who are probably willing to help but can't. They can't, due to many reasons, mostly explained below. Those people are those you need to leave behind. They are willing to help but they can't. They mentally can't. Helping you in your project or whatever it is, is mentally impossible as they are facing a mental block and overcoming a mental block is a very long and intense process. Your project has no time for this. Don't blame it to them, to yourself, just move forward.

 Trust me I know what I am writing about. I had a friend of mine who was an artistic director. So when I got this idea of building a website, I bumped into her. Bad idea. I made an entire brief (mood, colors, inspiration, Chinese portrait...) to give her some guidelines for the header and the website. And 8 months after, nothing. No header. No website (#disappointment, #betrayal). The worst thing about that is that she was actually the one who kept offering her help if I ever had had any project. During 8 months, the same excuses: no time, tired, I will make it, promised...And time flew. My biggest mistake was to have waited for her. I should have seen after a few months that she could barely do it. I don't think she meant to act like that. She was just facing a mental block. And this mental block affected my project for almost one year. She finally made a header sample with me constantly chasing her...When I realized that my efforts were completely concentrated on her instead of my project, I decided to put some distance between us (#drama). I did everything by myself. I made a header and my website in one month. I got free tutorials online and made it myself. Simple, easy and efficient. 

I know that at business school, we are used to hearing teachers advise that you should first seek help from people around you. Well, let me add something to this, choose your people carefully. Your friend can be a good friend but the worst partner in your project. No matter if it is his job and if he or she is talented. Working under the pressure of a boss is a different approach than working under the pressure of a friend or for a friend. I have so many examples even at work. I saw some people launching a business with their loved ones and were dragged down by them...You can be the best partner in life and the worst business partner at the same time. Hopefully, it is not always the case. But because in these situations, private feelings are involved, things can easily become sour. Just choose wisely the people to help you out....And be prepared to leave some behind.