Why I won't make it as an influencer

I Do. Do I?

Before launching into this kind of project, it is vital to ask yourself one question: Do you really want this? If at first, your answer will be "Yes, I do". Then later advanced in your project, as far as you will meet some difficulties, your wonder will be "Do I?". 

I mean when stepping into a project, the struggle is real. Whatever you do it for fun, like me, or for work, if you're results-oriented, you might be willing to give your best. And trust me as long as you haven't met any success, doubting will be hunting you. No matter what you do. You will keep asking if what you're doing is right, is good. Sometimes, you will be stuck on something without any way to get out than you will even reconsider your choice, your will. 

I don't know. Maybe it's because I am still shaken up by all the mistakes I have made before but I am very demanding when it comes to preparing my future feed theme. It feels like I don't indulge myself in making any other mistakes again. This is silly 'cause you need to indulge yourself in making mistakes to have the courage to undertake something. Most of the people who don't undertake something is because they fear of making mistakes, of failing. It feels like pointing out my previous mistakes made me realize that I wasn't infallible. I guess I don't trust myself anymore. I lost faith...I lost faith in me. If I have made mistakes before, why would it be different this time?  I guess questioning yourself is a great asset when you're mature enough to question itself. 

Instagram without instantaneity

If I am talking about this in this part, it is because of the latest days.  I have been working on the new theme of my Instagram feed. Finding the right order, the right position for each post has been so hard. Yes, I decided to work my feed weeks before posted any post. I know this is Instagram but for me, no instantaneity. Things have to be thought, chosen, decided a long time before. Sorry.  Instantaneity will probably come with practice. But for now, this way is best for me. I decided to work on a black and white theme. Yep, not an easy theme. Why do I have to make things so complicated? Well, If it's easy, it isn't for me. 

This black and white theme is the first Parisian theme of my new orientation. I put so much pressure on it. I want it to be perfect. This theme has a special resonance as I am a big fan of black and white pictures.  It will seem stupid but this theme represents years of errands in Paris to get the perfect pictures. I'm not like some influencers that retouch their pictures with lots of lighting, clouds and other stuff to make them great. What I put there is what I met while taking my pictures. So, it takes time and a chance to be at the right time and in the right place. I only allow filters for artistic purposes like for this picture:

I really like the pop of color. I think it adds something unexpected and poetic. I am a risk-taker.  If it's not to propose something new, what's the point of making all of this? The filter used is the filter offered by my camera, nothing less, nothing more. 

Just in case, you want to compare. this is the original one (P.S: I have done anything to the clouds. They were perfect that day):