Why I won't make it as an influencer

Disconnect to Connect!

When I wrote the previous part about "goals and dreams" for 2020, I had absolutely no idea of what will this year exactly look like. 

I don't blame myself for it because nobody was actually able to predict the situation we've been put in for months now. Did I lose my goals and dreams for 2020? Absolutely not. What I learn by far is that you need to find a way to take advantage of any challenging period of time. I mean life is unpredictable. For some of us, life is an endless repetition of the same weeks which makes it easier and somehow boring. But if you're unlucky like me, life might be a challenging path. Every year doesn't look the same even if you wish for. No matter how much effort you put in it. There are always bumps on the road. This is why setting your goals and dreams is a great asset for you. It helps to keep them in mind and keep motivated. If you already know what you want, the only focus should be on how to get it. The situation doesn't matter. A strategy is only meaningful regarding the environment it implies. Great news, it can be re-evaluated as many times as it needs. 

So when obstacles may appear, don't go back. Circumvent them or jump over. Don't get overwhelmed by the pain, the fear. If you need days to feel depressed, take them but only if you plan to overcome them. The need for light has never been so strong in the dark. Then, think strategically. Look around you. How do some people may have overcome this type of situation? Your situation is probably not one of the kind. Learn from others. I won't lie. For some of us, you may realize that you have reached your limits. In this case, the best you can do is giving up. Giving up is not failing, it is letting go. Holding on things that are out of your league is a waste of time for everybody. You will never feel as strong as when you own your weakness. For others, you may notice that you haven't tried hard enough or work hard enough. You may need a little update. 

Yesterday's successes are Today's failures

I guess having my goals and dreams in my mind got me productive during the quarantine. If you're doing digital content creation as a hobby, you might face a lack of time in your attempt to make some. Quarantine has been the best partner you could never have for that. I took time to relax, to disconnect to connect with myself, and finally to create. This time was a time for me to focus on my work as a digital creator. A look back on what has been done so far. It's funny how things can seem different when you take the time to stare at them. Yesterday's successes starting to look a lot like today's mistakes. Actually this step back was the best thing I could have done so far. To be honest, I had an idea of what was wrong and that's why I lined up a digital strategy for 2020 with my "goals and dreams" mood board. But being faced with my mistakes was both hard, shameful, and such a relief, all at the same time. 

Hard because you remind yourself that you've started all of this to do the things right and you actually,  are doing wrong...That's hard. That's hard to look at yourself, at what you have done. You feel disappointed with yourself. This feeling is awful. It's like looking at all the sh*t you've done. Everybody will agree with the fact that this is not a pleasant moment. You feel sorry for yourself. Your feelings are hurt. Your pride is.....anywhere to be found. 

Shameful because you put all this sh*t out there on social media. In the public eyes. Especially because you thought at some point that this sh*t was good enough, at a certain specific period of time to be posted. What were you thinking?! The fact is I wasn't thinking. I wasn't thinking clearly. Having a very demanding job, facing problems in your life doesn't help at all. You're rushing things where creativity requires time and preparation. And that's why you end up like me. Somewhere between where you wanted to be, where you thought you were and where you actually were. Shamewhere!

Relief because you're finally there. It is never easy to step back and point out your mistakes. Once you've done this, you can start the correcting process. You can set up some corrective actions. You can move on. That's the best part. You need to feel bad to feel better. To get better. Just keep on improving and make it happen!