I Think I Love You

Chapter 4: Mia

Chapter 4: Mia

9:13am

For a second, I watch Ms. Monroe's body lay lifeless. That picture stays with me, and with every blink I see her chilling after-image. My ears start ringing, it feels like my eardrums are going to explode. People are screaming, competing against the sound of gunshots around me. I turn to face the back end of the library still on all fours, rushing to make it to the end of the table. I hear people yelling, some bumping into each other, all trying to seek cover. Chaos is let loose! I can feel the carpet burning against my knees, but I know I need to crawl faster. "You have to start running", I scream in my head. I finally make it out under the table and explode towards the first row of bookshelves, almost losing my balance. I'm crouched down with my back against the bookshelves away from the shooter. I'm still trying to catch my breath but it's hard to do when I'm choking on fear. I turn my head towards the center of the library to see people running towards the back end. It takes me a second to realize that I'm crying now, just trying to stay alive. I let the tears stream down my face, quietly sobbing so I don't give myself away.

9:14am

BANG! BANG! BANG! Like a thunderstorm brewing, I count in my head. One...two...three shots fired; three bodies down. Voices are shrieking from the presentation room! My eyes widen as I think of Mr. Henry's class cornered with the shooter. I can't make out the words I'm hearing- it's all starting to sound like a blur. "Help! Please!", I know I hear those words. The sound of gunshots silencing them mid-scream. I imagine people in the room watching their friends die, and I try not to scream with them.

Outside of the room, everyone has gone silent now and the running has stopped. People are in their hiding spots, and we listen as the number of voices slowly die in the presentation room. I wipe my tears with the sleeve of my sweater and tell myself to stop crying so I can hear if he's coming. He's picking them off one by one and it won't be long before he finds me. I keep thinking to how he locked his eyes on mine as he shot Ms. Monroe. Was I his next target? This is how I die. I start to think of my family and what I'm leaving behind. Sweet Abuela. She pops into my head. Like flashbacks, memories come in waves. My first memories were actually with her as a kid. I watched home videos of her carrying me with one hand and a bottle of milk in the other. She tells me I get my painting skills from my grandpa, and she continues to be my number one supporter. My face scrunches knowing I won't hear her old school music playing through the walls, or get to eat the empanadas she makes on my birthday. Abuela practically raised me and has been with me ever since. Aside from Mac, she's my best friend. I shake my head at the thought of losing her, and I feel my face get warm with tears again. I start to think about dad. With mom out of the picture and me gone, I worry for him. I think back to the last conversation I had with dad last night. He was so excited to plan my applications to business school since he's always dreamed of me helping him run his construction business. He said he built it for me, but I didn't want it. To tell you the truth, I haven't had the heart to tell him that yet. I then try to imagine what mom would look like. Abuela once mentioned that I had her eyes and that we spoke the same. Would she care to know about me? She hasn't come back for me in over 14 years. If she ever decided to, it'd be too late. It saddens me that I never got to say goodbye. 'Goodbye'. I hear myself say in my head. The thought pains me, and I feel as though I'm wounded.

The screaming has stopped. The library has gone dead silent once again, and I wonder what's scarier: the screeching cries, or the silence waiting for death to strike. Is he still in the presentation room? Are there any survivors? I feel my heart start to race against the suspense as I press myself even harder against the bookshelves so that the books imprinted onto my back. I can hear footsteps, and they're moving quickly. I turn my head abruptly towards the noise as my eyes widen in fear. I see a dark figure. Before I could make out a scream, the figure moves quickly past the isle. I'm gasping for air as if I'm still out of breath from before. 'I have to move', I tell myself. I can't stay here so close to the presentation room. I decide to start crawling towards the end of the isle where the dark figure was running. Then a thought creeps on me, what if that figure was the shooter? Were they holding a gun?

9:16am

BANG! I hear a shot behind me followed by an outburst of screams. I'd be stupid to keep on crawling. The commotion behind me startles me to my feet as I run towards the far end of the isle. 'Don't fail me now' I cry to my feet as I brace my back anticipating to get shot from behind.

BANG! He's still on the other side. I finally make it to the other end and hide behind the isle of the bookshelf. The sound of the gunshots are getting louder now, he's getting closer. I have to keep moving! I peek to see if he's still behind me, but all I can see are people shifting around trying to dodge death. With all the moving around, I decide that now is the time to make another run. I just have to keep the distance between me and the shooter as far as possible. I take one last peek before making a run. The coast is clear. The screams are coming from behind me. I bolt two bookshelves down before deciding to sprint down two more to the last row. Isle 8, I tell myself. That's where I'll make the turn. I stay as close to the shelves as I make a turn into the isle and notice a dark shape just below me. For a moment I think I stumble onto one of the victims. For the sake of my life, I suppress the urge to scream out of horror.

The boy startles me almost giving away my plan! He's definitely not dead, as he grabs me by the hand and pulls me to the ground. I stopped in my tracks so I was still off balance when he pulled me down. I land onto his lap and that's when I caught a look at his face. Brayden Harper. For a second I don't move. He's looking at me in a way that says he wants me to live, and with that I couldn't help but cry. I hear him say the words, "We're gonna get through this", and deep down, I want to believe him. I feel the warm touch of his thumb come across my face as he wipes away a tear. His hands must've been clenched just moments earlier as I see the redness in them. I study his face for a while and I can tell that he's scared too. His eyes give him away, but his face is determined. I then realize I'm still toppled over him and as much as I feel comforted, I quickly sit myself up. I can hear footsteps coming closer, and I feel myself go stiff, but there's nowhere else to go. Does Brayden hear the noises too? He stretches out his hand and I take it in mine. I start to remember the words he said earlier. Suddenly, I catch a glimpse of someone from the corner of my eye and whip my head in that direction. There's a kid wearing a green shirt on the other side of the library, and I think he's coming towards us. He's getting ready to run, but I hear another set of familiar footsteps. I've heard these footsteps before, the pattern of it dragging against the carpet floor. It's the shooter! "Don't do it", I whisper. Begging him, I feel myself shake my head and mouth the words "NO!". The footsteps are getting louder, and I hear screams from behind. Almost on cue, the boy runs towards us, out in the centre.

9:18am

BANG! AHHHHHH! I want to yell out, and scream from the top of my lungs! I want to run to save him, stop the bleeding, and call 911. Before I could do any of that, I feel a hand over my mouth. Brayden's trying to keep us both alive. We could've both been a target. I'm crying in silence again, over the lives that have been lost — over the boy we saw shot. I'm so angry now, I can't accept that this is happening to us. All of us. I clench my hands and realize that I'm still holding onto Brayden's hand. I loosen my grip, but he doesn't let go. BANG!