The Fantastical Shop of Lifelike Wonders

Despite my riches of cocks...

The Fantastical Shop of Lifelike Wonders was quiet tonight.

Well, it was quiet every night. My posting flyers of my wares across the kingdom's villages was not met kindly.

That's why I opened the shop at night; customers did not wish to be seen coming here. They arrived in darkness, hoods pulled over their heads even in these humid months.

But they didn't come often—well, they did after they've visited my shop, but not in the return to a location sense.

In the fucking sense.

With no customers to serve, I went to work crafting more wares. Holding the dildo by its base, I rubbed the sandpaper up and down its length. The wood was already smooth, but it had to be beyond smooth for its use.

I learned that hard way with a few splinters in an...uncomfortable spot.

The oil lamp burned brightly on my worktable, making the many dildos on their many shelves gleam in the light. They each had a name: Mike, Evan, Mr. Bigalopolis. Often, they were enough.

But not always.

I put down the dildo and sandpaper and sighed. Despite my riches of cock, it was lonely living in a cottage in the forest—just me, the cocks, and the turtles by the pond. They were my most reliable friends.

The four big snappers would come out even at night if I tossed them some bread—and I could use some living company. So, I retrieved bread from the kitchen and stepped out into the summer night. The pond by my cottage shimmered under a million stars. One streaked across the sky in a blaze of yellow and I took a deep breath, closing my eyes.

I wish for a real man.

"Motherfuckerrrrrrrr," someone screamed. My eyes flew open just as something blue and white hit the grass next to me with a heavy thud.

I leapt back, dropping the bread. "Are you okay? Where did you come from?"

The bundle hauled herself to her feet and adjusted her pale blue dress. Her gossamer wings flittered like an angry hummingbird. She planted one fist on her hip, a stick topped with a yellow star in her hand.

"I have somewhere to be, you know," she said. With her other hand, she reached up to pat her beehive hair back into place. "Thanks for ruining my night."

"Are you..."

"A fairy godmother, yes."

"How... what..."

"You wished on me when I was in a hurry to Beatrice's party. You know she throws the finest shindigs and I had to kiss ass for months to get an invite. Now, you yank me down from my flight. What is it that you want?"

I shook my head, confused. "Come inside. You must need to sit down or have a drink after that...fall?"

"Well...I could use a sangria or two."

I turned to lead her inside and nearly tripped over a massive snapping turtle. "Leo!" I cursed. I could always tell the turtles apart by the different colors on their necks.

He stared at me and munched on the dropped bread.

The fairy studied him, and he lifted his head, staring back at her.

She snorted. "Clever, motherfucker aren't you, turtle?" she said the last word strangely with her eyebrows raising and falling quickly.

"Did you hit your head on the way down?" I said to her.

"No, my hair cushioned my fall. I'm quite fine. Let's get that drink and your wish over with so I can make the party." She chuckled. "Mr. Cattintons is going to be there." She nudged me with her elbow.

"I don't know what that means," I said. But you couldn't piss off a fairy, they would curse you. So I led back her to my cottage. She paused inside the front door, looking around at the shelves of my fine hand-crafted wares.

"Damn girl, you thirsty," she said.

I cleared my throat. "It's not for me. I run a shop."

"Ah-ha," she said as though she didn't believe me. "Now what was your wish? A real man?"

I flushed. "I was just daydreaming. Don't worry about it—"

"From the looks of it, you need more than one. All right." She flicked her arms and waved her wand through the air, trailing yellow sparks. "Bippity bobbity ass and abs," she declared.

Before I could ask what the fuck that meant, there was a crash. Actually, three crashes.

The shelves on each wall had collapsed and, somehow, a naked man sat on the floor among the broken shelves and fallen dildos.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," one of them cursed as dildo after dildo fell off the shelf onto his head.

Another threw his strong arms over his head to block the falling cocks. The third just picked them up and turned them around in his long fingers.

"What the hell just happened?" I said. "Am I stoned?"

"You're welcome," the fairy godmother said.

What happens next? Tell me your ideas for the next scene and I'll share it next week. Make it as crazy as you can!

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I asked for ideas on Facebook for a RH story and this is the very first scene.

Thanks to MH for the suggestion of a woman who carves dildos and wishes they were real man. Thanks to AR for the ninja turtle RH idea. Finally, thanks to AA for suggesting turtle shifters.

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Can you guess what will happen next? 

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Disclaimer: The resulting story will be publicly shared on social media. I won't be selling it.

By sharing your ideas below, you grant me permission to use them for this story. Thanks!

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Like this story so far? My reverse harem romance is published on Amazon.

Read it here: geni.us/EvaDelaneyRH