The Fantastical Shop of Lifelike Wonders

Dildo-men vs. turtles: Who will win?!

I gaped at the three gorgeous naked men on the floor of my shop with dildos from the collapsed shelves scattered around them.

"What...where...huh?" I said, turning to my fairy godmother.

She leaned against the wall, picking her teeth with the point of her star wand. "Are you going to make me that drink? I gave you what you wanted."

One of the men groaned and stood. His pure black hair fell in waves to his bare shoulders. One hand cupped his cock and balls to hide them.

"Did one of the Chris's spike my oatmeal again?" he said. "I was at craft services and then boom, I'm here. I must have passed out or something. Where's the wardrobe department?" He stared at me, waiting for an answer.

I stared back, waiting for an explanation.

"I'm Tom," he said finally. "I apologize for my...umm...inappropriate attire. Please don't call a lawyer, I don't know how I ended up like this."

"Oh, right, Tom! That's the name of my most basic dildo model."

His mouth fell open. "Basic?"

One of the other men laughed. He sprawled on the floor, twirling a wooden dildo in his fingers. Unlike Tom, he didn't try to hide anything. Everything from his scruffy auburn hair to his six-pack abs to his thick cock were on full display.

I'd recognize the cock anywhere. After all, I carved it. It might be flesh now rather than wood, but every vein was exactly as I made it. "Dragon?"

"Call me Drag," he said and trailed his gaze up my body. I flushed under his hungry look.

"I'm lucky that you found me." His voice was low and husky. "I was just standing on the gallows with a noose around my neck and poof! Here I am with a gorgeous lady and no pants." He smirked as his gaze fixed on my chest.

The flush on my skin became a flush between my legs. I glanced at the fairy godmother. "Good work."

"I know, right?"

The third and final dildo-man pulled his knees to his chest and flipped a strand of dusty blond hair out of his green eyes. His lush mouth pulled down into a frown. "I'll have you all arrested for this insult against decency, for this...this...kidnapping!"

I whirled on the fairy. "You stole real men and brought them here..." I glanced at Drag's cock. "And give them the cocks I carved?"

Tom glanced down. "Huh, it is different. Well done, prosthetics department."

The fairy godmother inspected her long blue nails. "You wished for real men. These are real men."

"Did you ask them first?"

"Of course. They all wanted to escape their usual, mundane lives. I can't teleport someone and give them a new cock unless they want it."

I sighed in relief. "Oh good, this is okay then."

"How is this okay?" the angry blond one said. "I was working diligently as an accountant in father's law firm and then I'm suddenly and unexpectedly here!"

"He hates his job," the fairy godmother said.

He huffed. "Why, I never!"

"That one was hard to find," the fairy godmother said. "Who the fuck names a dildo Rumple?"

I clenched my fists. "It's the name of a dildo with ridges for pleasure."

Rumple the man glanced down between his legs and blanched.

"Let's see," Drag whispered.

"No! I'll have you know that Rumple is an ancient and well-esteemed family name," Rumple said.