The Best You Ever Had

September Nightmare

My social media posts blew up. Everyone was wild with speculation, but it seemed like people were split pretty evenly between "oh my god, they're dating" and "oh my god, they're collaborating". It made me smile a little that everyone was right about everything, but it also made me a little nervous. I wasn't ready for people to know about my relationship with Brendon. It was so new, and I'd just been dumped.

"You still have your guard up," Brendon said while we lounged on his couch, snuggling his dogs and talking about it.

"That has nothing to do with you, though, I promise. It's all me and my hangups." I reached up and curled a stray lock of his hair around my finger.

He grabbed my hand, smiling softly. "No, I get it. You don't have to explain anything to me. But I'm not going anywhere. I want to explore this more," he said, gesturing between us. "I feel like we have a lot of ground to cover and I'm stoked to spend the time with you."

"We have the advantage of our past, I suppose. Even if that didn't end so well, at least we already know one another." I sank back into the pillows on his dark couch.

He pushed me over and settled himself behind me, wrapping one arm around me and using the other to prop his head up so he could look at me, knocking both dogs to the floor in the process. "Are you the same person you were back then? Because I don't think you are. I know I'm not."

"I suppose I'm not, no," I admitted.

"You're softer, even if you won't let the public see it. More mature, for sure. Less self-centered. More willing to listen during a conversation, instead of just waiting for your turn to talk."

"You're definitely more mature, too. Just as weird though, despite outward appearances, which I find reassuring. Like the Brendon I knew isn't completely gone. I think you're more patient too. Especially with me, lord knows."

"So what do we do? Cover the basics? How's the family been and all that?" His eyes twinkled as he grinned down at me.

"Ugh, family."

"Hey- mine is cool."

"True. I always liked them. Even if they thought I was a bad influence." I smiled back at him.

"You were a bad influence," he reminded me.

"Sex, drugs, and rock and roll, baby," I joked. "What did they say when you told them we're together?"

"I only told my mom. She'll make sure everyone knows it though. And all she had to say was 'people change and grow, and you know what you're doing', so I guess that's pretty good."

"Did she mean you or me?" I asked dryly.

"Probably both."

"Remember that time we took a shopping cart from the supermarket and you pushed me across a six lane highway in it just so we could leave it at the competing store?"

"We could have been killed. And that was tame. We were so dumb." He hooked a thumb into the waistband of my pants and pulled so I rotated towards him, our chests pressed together

"Alright, how about the time I stole that axe from my dad's shed and we got drunk and high and threw it at anything we could find?"

"Didn't somebody throw it at Spencer?" he asked, laughing.

"I did. I was a jackass. Thank fuck I missed."

"Jesus, yeah, that could have been not so funny."

"I had poor judgement. About a lot of things."

"But not me. I was the best decision you ever made."

"You weren't a decision," I corrected him. "I couldn't have stayed away from you anymore than a month can stay away from a flame."