After the event finished, my Mother picked me up from Abby's house and drove me home. I was exhausted both physically and mentally and I felt as though I was going to be sick. The day after the event I slept the whole day, I felt like I'd hit a wall and something happened that made me feel worse than I'd ever felt in my life before. Why was I alive? I was a horrible daughter, girlfriend, sister and friend. I just wanted to take my own life. Abbey knew I was fragile and I confide in her like I always did but for whatever this time she was done with my shit and she called it quits.
Two days went by it was the 28th of September 2018. The day I decided I'd had enough and attempted suicide. I grabbed my small baggie filled with razor blades from behind my bed and took it into the bathroom. I ran myself a bath and began to slice open my wrists and watch the blood pour from my arms. Within minutes I was light headed and the water was turning a deep red colour and before I knew it I was out cold. I'm not sure what happened that day, but something must have been on my side as I awoke to my dad banging on the bathroom door asking me to hurry up. I should have died, the amount of blood I lost was ridiculous.
I'd survived and I couldn't work out how. I felt both pathetic for failing at such a seemingly easy task. I decided I'd message one of my friends. I trusted her and I knew she wouldn't tell anyone. I told her what happened and within minutes of telling her I saw flashing lights outside my house and the sound of people yelling out front of the house. I began to shake, I knew what was happening and I was fucking screwed. I heard more yelling, this time from my dad
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! WHAT THE FUCK HAS SHE DONE NOW!?" I heard him yell. I opened my bedroom door and walked down the hallway knowing they were here for me.
"WHY THE FUCK ARE THE POLICE HERE YOU DUMB FUCK? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" My Father shouted. I looked around the living room and there were two police officers both armed with tasers and guns. I knew I didn't look it, but I was fucking terrified. They sat we down on the couch, searched and handcuffed me and called an ambulance to take me to hospital to get checked out.
YOU ARE READING
Razor
Non-FictionIn 2018, I had one of the worst years of my life. I went through fucking hell and back and as my memory fades of these events, I decided it would be good for me to write down the events that shaped me to be the person I am today. With that being sai...
