Hidden Beneath Brown Eyes (A Zayn Malik Fanfiction)

Chapter 57 - Reeses Puffs

I sat cross-legged and straight as a board, my fingers nervously intertwining with themselves, on the couch in the middle of the living room. The room seemed silent as death to me, but I guess I wouldn't have really known since the only sound I could focus on was the slow ticking of the clock on the far wall that only increased in volume with each tick. I was trying my damn hardest to keep my composure and hide my deathly high anxiety levels from my son who was sitting right beside me on the couch.

Jack wasn't exactly the vision of calm and collected either, but at least he seemed to be handling it better than I was. I could tell that he was nervous because he was my son and I knew enough to recognize the little signs that he was nervous too. He did this thing when he got nervous that most people would blow off and just go on about how cute it was, but I knew better, and when Jack started humming made up melodies to himself, I knew that he was under stress.

Unlike Jack and I, Zayn didn't seem to be too concerned with his appearance at all, because he couldn't have been more obvious even if he taped a sign to his head that read NERVOUS WRECK in bold letters. He had been leaning up against the wall opposite the couch for an impressive ten minutes before his restlessness took over and he began pacing.

Every heavy step of his foot on the sensitive wooden floor sounded to me like powerful thunder rolling across an open valley. He and I hadn't said a word to each other since I'd told him of my intentions, and the lack of communication was one of the biggest reasons why I was on the edge of insanity.

I'd expected Zayn to be nervous, I was too, but I hadn't expected him to be displaying signs of a mental breakdown. He wouldn't even so much as make eye contact with me or look at me, but I noticed his discreet glances towards Jack every now and again.

Jack had been focused the most on me this whole time. I think he knew what I was trying to talk to him about, but every time he did look over at Zayn, the expression he wore was a lot of confusion mixed with a little anxiety. I could clearly see that Zayn's pacing was freaking Jack out. I understood that Zayn was nervous, but this was a big moment for our son and he needed to keep it together.

"Zayn, can I speak to you in the kitchen?" It actually came out as more of a demand than a question as I slowly stood up and stared at Zayn, waiting for him to comply with my request.

At the sound of my voice, his pacing ceased and he looked absolutely relieved to hear someone speak. I don't think it had really registered at first what I had said or that he even cared. I think he was just appreciating the momentary break in the silence.

He let my voice linger in the room for as long as he could before it would disappear. My words floated in the air, hitting every corner and bouncing off every wall, trying to make their short existence last a little longer. After it had completely faded back into silence, Zayn finally looked at me.

His expression looked almost absent, but he was there, and we both knew that no matter how hard he tried, he could never completely hide from me. He broke his gaze from mine and motioned with his eyes towards the kitchen before making his way ahead of me.

I let him go ahead of me and didn't even check to make sure he'd headed to the kitchen when I turned to my small boy sitting next to me, who had remained quiet through this whole thing.

"I'll be right back. Okay?' I promised, placing my hands on his arms and rubbing up and down.

"Okay." The shake in his voice pierced through my heart like a knife. If there was ever anyone who could truly break my heart, it would be my son.

I reluctantly let go of Jack, taking one last look at his face before getting up and heading towards the kitchen. Talking to Zayn made me more nervous than anything, because we never knew where these private conversations would lead. Sometimes it'd lead to an argument and sometimes it'd turn into a makeout session. We wouldn't know until it was too late.