One...two...three...four. I count my steps as I walk along the dirt road under the train tracks. One...two...three...four. I don't count because I think it will help, but because my doctor believes it will actually help me make some progress. He told me that making lists, counting, and finding a regular routine would help me. God, he's an idiot. Counting? Really? Does he not remember me telling him that I used to go by the name Four? Now that I think about it, he probably suggested this counting thing just to get on my nerves. One...two...three...four. Four. I've been thinking about changing my name back to Four honestly. Tobias doens't seem right anymore. My dad called me Tobias. She called me Tobias. Tobias has a lot of pain, a lot of weight. However, I don't know if Four would work anymore either. I gave myself that name a long time ago, because at the time, I did have four fears. I have many more now. A fear of living in grief forever. A fear of...zip-lining. A fear of guns. And so many more. After she died, my list of fears grew alarmingly high. God. I have to stop thinking about her, or else I'm gonna end up sobbing in the street again. I keep walking. One...two...three...screaming. Someone's screaming. I look up. A girl's going down the zip-line. She's screaming...not with fear...but with pure joy. I realize I'm almost smiling, until I see the way she's flying. She was lying on her stomach, with her arms out to her sides as if they were wings. Suddenly, I was turning on my heel and sprinting to the spot where the zip-line came to an end. I only ever knew one person who went down the zip-line like that, and she was the love of my life. I reached the alley and ran down it as I saw the girl come down, pulling the brake, and unbuckling herself from the line. She jumped down while her dark green dress billowed out around her, and dust from the dirt road lifted and settled back on her brown boots.
I yelled at her. "Who are you?" I asked, my teeth gritted. I was angry, but not exactly sure why.
She turned to look at me with a wild almost rabid look in her eyes. Her dark brown hair was cut in uneven, wavy, chops and her forehead was covered in a fair amount of dirt. She was out of breath when she replied.
"I'm Beatrice." She said while holding out her small hand. But I wasn't even paying attention. Her name kept swirling around in my head. Beatrice. Beatrice. Beatrice.
"B-Beatrice?" I croaked. She nodded and held out her hand again, encouragingly. I shook it. She pulled her hand back and smoothed out her dress.
"Yep," she smiled. "That's my name." I nodded slowly and then looked at her. A few minutes passed in silence before she started backing up to the alleyway's entrance.
"Well, I think I should just get...uh...going now." She said quietly, She turned around but I caught her wrist and held her there. She yelped in surprise.
"Oh...sorry, I just wanted to know who gave you that name."I asked urgently. She looked relieved and her arms fell as she swung them at her sides.
"My mom. Her name was Christina. She died about a year ago." She murmured, while looking down at her laced boots. I gave an audible gasp and my mind started reeling. It couldn't have been the Christina I knew. No. It had to be. Who else would name their daughter Beatrice?
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I'll Be Your Family Now
FanfictionTobias is trying hard to move on. Days keep getting tougher though, as he tries to forget about the girl he lost. The girl he probably could've saved... However, everything changes one dark day when he meets an orphan who teaches him that perhaps h...
