Shine Girl

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Octavia Shine is the name. My mother was obsessed with my name and was thrilled to have a girl, because she could finally name me Octavia.

18 years ago I was born on August 2nd at 9:39 in the morning. My mother died awhile back ago. She was driving home and she fell asleep. It's from the lack of sleep she was having.

She was on her way to pick me up from dance class. I dance to slow moving dance and hip hop dance. I don't mind much for either of those, just as long as I can dance.

My father is constantly drinking his days away. He's always drunk. Which means he is always blaming me. So he hits me. I try not to take it personally. But, sometimes I can't help it. I do feel like it is my fault. His soulmate was ripped away from him because she was picking me up. So how could I not blame myself?

"We are transferring you to Oceanside High. Your school is getting to suspicious." My father said gruffly before leaving. Great, another transfer to another school. I really do hope this doesn't change my status I'm trying to maintain to get into school. As well as the credentials I need for my degree.

I looked at my closet where my dance clothes were. I had my old ballet outfit hanging up in there too.  I also had my moms. I had all my moms old dance clothes because my father tried to get rid of them. He said it was what killed her. But, it wasn't. It will never be that.

Dancing was the air my mother breathed in. It was what kept her alive. Letting her stress out and anger.

Like now, dancing is my air that I breathed in. It is what keeps me alive. Even if I can sneak in a dance here and there, I will because it's like an escape for me. I can never get my full routine in though.

It has a been a long while since I got my full dance routine in. I miss being able to dance everyday and dancing whenever I wanted. It's not fair that I have to throw away my love because of my fathers hate towards it.

It's just not fair. Really, none of this is fair. None of it is fair because all I really want is to dance and to dance my way throughout life.

There is nothing I could be better at. Nothing could fit in to replace my love for dancing. Dancing is a one of a kind thing and I need that one of a kind thing.

Sure, I have side hobbies of making clothes and jewelry, but dancing will always be my number one love. I wouldn't even have those side hobbies if it weren't for my mom.

I winced as I got up from my bed where I sat, staring at the floor. I have a few bruised or broken ribs and it was killing me.

I grabbed my phone and my purse as I begun my way down stairs. I have to get some new school supplies if I'm transferring. Whenever I transfer to a new school, I like to feel like it's a fresh start. He only transfers me to a new school when the police get involved or there are suspicions of the abuse that I am undergoing.

I quietly walked out the front door before I began to run down my driveway and down the street until I reached the office supply and craft store. I went in and got everything I need and even got my some art supplies since I love to sketch.

Normally my sketches have to do with dancing or my mother. I use to use my mother as my portrait and she always saved them because she insisted that each time I got even better which of course I believed.

I have them all back and I continue to add to that collection. The only difference now is that I have to look at pictures of her to draw her. I begun my way home and I stood in front of the house for a few minutes before heading to the side of the house and climbing up the vines to get to my window. I climbed in, being super quiet about it because I didn't want to disturb him.

I took everything out of my school bag and tossed it into the can in my room. I wrote my name on most of my supplies before neatly tucking them away in my bag.

Then I placed it beside my bed and got my outfit for school out before turning the light off and lying down. I stared at my ceiling where there was those glowing stars on my ceiling. My mom put them up there because I once was scared to be outside at night, but I wanted to see the stars up close. To be honest, it was a sweet and cute gesture. One I cherish to this day. I'm surprised the stars still glow.