It Was The Best of Times, It Was The Worst of Times

Nine

We were all sitting on the edge of our seats, too afraid to say anything, too afraid to let silent tears drip down our cheeks, too afraid to breathe. The police had called us at eleven in the morning with bad news. About twenty minutes before they called, someone reported that they had found a body in a shallow grave near the bridge. They called when they got to the crime scene where they could talk to the forensic team. The forensic team told them that it was possible the body was Joshua. Everything seemed to match: age, race, gender, even the rate of decomposition matched when he was taken. We were told to wait and that they would have information for us as soon as they knew.
The boy's head had been smashed in and the fingertips removed. I watched crime shows. That meant a murderer wanted to prevent officials from finding the ID. I had put my trust in the officials thus far and I only hoped I wasn't wrong to do so. They would catch the bad guy. They always did. There was a chance it wasn't even Joshua.
Brayden was over when we got the call. We were putting ourselves together. We laughed once or twice. We talked, we pretended for five minutes that Josh was here with us. When the phone rang, we all went dead. We all assumed it was him. The odds weren't in our favor, we had every piece of speculative evidence against us.
I wanted to write to him early. I wanted to tell him how damn afraid I was. But I was so scared that if I moved, I'd miss something. If I blinked, I'd miss something. If I inhaled and exhaled as if everything was going to be okay, I'd miss something. My journal was in front of me, along with a pen. It would be a while until we got a call. Brayden could tell that I was contemplating getting the journal. He leaned forward and grabbed it for me. When he handed it to me, I made a weak attempt and a smile, and he nodded his head slightly in an acknowledgement.
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Day 33
Dear Josh,
They found a body. It could be yours. Every day I tell you that we may be getting closer to finding you. The police have found clues, they have been interrogating so many people. It seemed like they were getting somewhere. It seemed like we were getting somewhere. We've all been happier. More lighthearted because you might come home soon. I talk came crashing down today and we are worse than we were at square one. How am I supposed to live with this?
You were 5'8. The body is 5'8.
You were Caucasian. The body was Caucasian.
You were 16. The body was estimated to be 16 to 18.
You have been missing for 33 days. The body has been in the ground for 30.
If the body is you, you were alive for three days before. What was it like? What were your last three days as a living human being like? Were you thinking of us? Your family and friends who were so scared to do anything out of fear that we might miss something? Did you think of what we would be doing without you? Did you know that we would give anything to have you back safe? Did you know you were going to die? What was death like?
It was like we were in Hell, Josh. We couldn't imagine how it was for you, wherever you were. When he police assured us that they truly believes that you were alive, we got some hope back. It's gone now. It is resting in the shallow grave you were in.
Bray read the journal. He said that you would live it if you were here. Despite the recent events, I can somehow still hope, even if I'm only hanging on by a shred, that you're still okay. Maybe it's just because I want so badly for it to be true and my subconscious is trying to prove that it might be.
Your mom is crying. She's shaking, but not making any noise. Your dad looks horrified. Leah's parents look like they regret so much. Mrs. Smith and her boyfriend (honestly I still can't remember his name. I haven't bothered to learn it. It might be Chris.) look sad, but almost bored. Claire doesn't know what's going on, really. She thinks that "found a body" means that you're coming home soon and we can all play tag together. Lee looks horrified. I don't know how I feel. It's a mix of every negative emotion I can think of, but I dint think there is a word that combines them all.
Is there anything I could have done to prevent this from happening to you? Everyone says that I couldn't have. But what if I had been there? Would they have taken me instead? Right now, Josh, I would gladly trade places. I would do anything. I would die if it meant you could be home safe.
I never thought I'd say it, but I would willingly die for you, Josh.
Love always,
Alyssa
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We has been sitting in silence for nearly an hour. We were hungry, but we couldn't eat. We were tired, by we couldn't sleep. We couldn't do anything but stare at the phone and hope that it wasn't Josh's body.
Finally, after waiting for longer than we would have cared to wait, we got a call.
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Early update (although it technically is Wednesday: it's 12:36 AM rn). I don't know when I will update next. I'll be very busy with school, but I'll do my best. No promises for a Saturday update. Sorry!!
Remember, you can still message Josh via kik (I'm not really sure that I like that app, tbh. I'll keep it though because a few people have messaged it and enjoy it) to ask him questions or talk to him. Username is in the previous chapter.
Did you like this chapter? I didn't. Sorry. Please vote, comment, PM me- anything to let me know what you thought of the chapter. Feedback is welcomed enthusiastically. Have a nice few days, I'll see you again (hopefully) Saturday, but next Wednesday at the very latest.
Everyone, PLEASE do me a favor and look at my new post for the NaNoWriMo story I mentioned. It would mean so much to me if you looked at it and hopefully stuck around a bit for the chapters that are coming. Thanks so much for your support!

I've gotta get to bed. Goodnight/ morning!!!
XOXO