The Payback or The Adventures and Pranks of Zachary O'Connor

Chapter Nine: Merry Bitchmas

Note: To get into the Christmas spirit, there will be no cussing in this chapter. Except for the title. All of John's cussing with be like this "sh*t."

We got out of school for Winter Break on the 19th of December, and we were not going to be back in school until the 5th of January. Upon getting into my car, Meghan and I sighed and turned on the radio. We would've rolled down the windows and crap, but it was frickin' cold. Anyway, we were in good spirits and decided to celebrate by hanging out at her house and eating chocolate chips from a bag. Upon entering her house, I greeted each of her parents no differently from other times, but they seemed to know something cuz her mom seemed to be trying not to smile and this was one of the only times I'd been here without anyone else. I realized that I might not have told my folks about me and Meghan (though Dad figured it out), but she could've told her parents.

Not wanting to push any boundaries or whatever, we just hung out in the living room, and her parents walked through every once in a while. We were just watching some TV show about vampires and werewolves and eating chocolate chips. I felt bad when we ran out of chocolate chips cuz it was at least a third full when we attacked it. Meghan claimed it wasn't a big deal. I decided to accept that.

Since the holidays were a time to enjoy family and all that stuff, we didn't all get back together until two days after Christmas. But I suppose I'll talk about Christmas to attract Jesus-folk to this story. So far it's been rather... um, explicit. So, yeah. Anyway, in the days leading up to the 25th of December, I was in and out of the house constantly because I had to buy stuff. For like everyone. I bought Anti this new video game we'd wanted to try out and a different one for John. We'd play 'em later. I bought Meghan, Gabby and Reagan some cheap tickets to a local band they liked. For the rest of my family I bought clothes and the usual crap.

I also made Meghan a playlist online with just about every song we'd ever sang together in my car on it.

I hoped that she would like it.

On Christmas Eve, I attended a church service that my mother dragged me along to and then stayed up until nearly midnight texting the others. I would've stayed up later cuz we were having a heated debate about whether or not a hot-dog was a sandwich, but I was actually pretty tired. I guess Jesus made me tired. Go figure. As my eyes closed, I thought maybe, just maybe, I heard sleigh bells ringing... Nope, I'm kidding. More like I heard myself passing gas.

Ah, Christmas morning. It sucks. I woke up at around 9 am and wandered into the living room. The Christmas tree was oddly blurry, and I didn't realize why until I reached for my glasses to clean them and found out they were not currently on my face. Then I realized I was still wearing a tank top and sleep shorts. I scowled and went back to my room to throw on a robe and put on my glasses. Around this time my parents wandered out. The three of us sat on the couch and unwrapped the presents from each other. I ended up getting a few novels I'd wanted as well as a few video games. All of this was great and did not suck.

Then there was the other family members bit.

First on the agenda was lunch with my mother's family at my aunt's house in Downtown Atlanta. I had to dress up in an actual pair of long pants and "not a t-shirt", as my mother said. Upon entering back into the living room with an uncomfortable itch around the collar, Dad was like, "You clean up nicely." I was like, "Thanks, man. We O'Connor men tend to look rather sexy in non-t-shirts." Mom frowned at this, but Dad chuckled. Jeremy also arrived a few minutes before we were to leave for my aunt's. Jeremy is awesome. He's in his third year of college at Georgia Tech. He has long, shaggy hair and fits the stereotypical grunge rocker look pretty well, despite only playing the cello. He showed up in his ever-present flannel. He's funny, like my dad, and we get along pretty well. I hadn't seen him in a few months, so it was good for him to be home.