Dema Don't Control Us (Joshler)

Nicolas Bourbaki

Bob was outside, smoking a cigarette. Patrick had insisted he didn't smoke inside with Tyler and Josh. They were incredibly thankful.

Patrick, Tyler, and Josh were watching the news. They gazed dully at the screen, not really taking anything in, until a familiar face appeared. Nico.

His face flashed in the corner of the screen, captioned "Nicolas Bourbaki: DEMA's founder." The caption at the bottom of the screen read "Escapees raise controversy over Department of Education for Misguided Adolescents."

"Nicolas, conversion therapy is illegal in several states. Do you have any insights on that?" a reporter asked. Tyler chuckled a bit. The reporter was trying not to be biased, but she seemed to be... pissed off. At Nico, specifically. "Oh please, call me Nico," Nico smiled through gritted teeth. "And did you know that homosexuals are more likely to contract AIDS?"

The reporter smiled condescendingly. "Answer the question, Nico. Let me make that a little more clear. Why do you think conversion therapy is illegal in several states?" Nico scratched his head, then seemed to come to a conclusion. "Well, you see... liberals are taking over our values. No traditional values are held important anymore." He sighed. "Wish we could turn back time... to the good old days..."

"Nico, are you aware of the suicide rate in conversion therapy?" the reporter asked through gritted teeth.

"Yes, I am. Bless their poor souls. It's God sending them to hell for their sins. At least they aren't killing other people like they would with AIDS," Nico said in a sickly sweet voice.

The TV cut to the news screen, where another reporter smiled and chirped, "Stay tuned for more details on DEMA!"