My Porcelain Heart

The Beginning

  I grew up in a small town, in a medium-sized blue house on a hill, it was built right next to an old railroad track. Sometimes I would go and walk along the track trying to find old hidden treasures. I never really found anything except for some old bottle caps and rusted rail road spikes. The railroad spikes were pretty cool, until my mom made me put them back for fear of getting cut by them. My childhood was spent in the living room with my mom, every night we would watch old horror movies on our black and white TV. I knew every word to every single movie. The day I turned 12 I found my first porcelain doll along the side of the railroad tracks. She looked just like me, porcelain white skin, raven colored hair, and light blue eyes. Poking out of her tiny smiling red lips were miniature vampire fangs.  I brought her home and stared at her for a while turning my head in different directions. Finally after an hour of having a staring contest with the doll, I decided to name her Ebony. Ever since then I have been in love with porcelain dolls and vampires. A few years later a week before my 16th birthday my mom made me do the most awful thing I have ever had to do. We moved to England. Apparently I had a really old cousin who died and left his home to his closest family members. Unluckily that meant me leaving everything and moving across the world. As we loaded the boxes into our car I looked back at the old blue house and at the railroad track and thought about how much I was going to miss them. 

"Okay," my mom said with a huff as she loaded a box into the back seat, "I think that was the last one, you ready?"

 No, I wasn't ready, I already didn't fit in here, how was I going to be able to restart everything when I get to England?

 "Uh, yeah, hold on I'll be right back." I ran as fast as I could inside the house and out the back door towards the railroad tracks. When I came close to the tracks I started looking around frantically. Out of the corner of my eye I saw what I was looking for. An old railroad spike. I ran over to it and quickly put it in my bag. 

"Lennon!" I heard my mom yelling, "We have to go! We will be late for our flight!" 

"That would be the best thing to happen all day." I mumbled as I walked towards the car. The trip to the airport was going to be so long, I was dreading every second of it. I knew my mom would try and tell me that everything was going to be great. She would say something along the lines of, "This is going be great! A new adventure! Aren't you so excited?" No, no I wasn't excited, I don't think that there is any possible way that I could be excited about this. I watched the rain droplets run down the window and followed them with my finger. I looked out at the world that was going past me, like a blur of memories all mixing together and being left behind. I tried to pretend I was someone else, like I was in a movie and all this was just a dream. A really bad dream. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my mom look over at me and then back at the road. 

"I'm sure you will make a ton of new friends, it won't all be that bad." She was trying. I didn't want to make her feel bad, but it wasn't me who uprooted the only life I've ever known to move halfway across the world. She could have said she didn't want the house. 

"Mom, I didn't have friends in our old town, so why would our new place be any different?" She didn't answer. This silence lasted the whole way there.