Sweet Talker || Taylor Hawkins Fanfiction ||

Chapter 7 - Hope is a dangerous thing

"I've been tearing around in my fucking nightgown
24/7 Sylvia Plath
Writing in blood on my walls
'Cause the ink in my pen don't work in my notepad
Don't ask if I'm happy, you know that I'm not
But at best, I can say I'm not sad
'Cause hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have
Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have"

Hope is a Dangerous thing for a woman like meto have - but i have - Lana del Rey

3 weeks had gone by and not a single text from Taylor had arrived. Tessa said to herself that her hopes were not even close to high but the truth was that she couldn't wait to see him again. And as the hopes were so high falling to the low was lower than ever.

On the first week she felt miserable, Lisa kept telling she needed to get some 'd' and that she was way too cranky. She got angry and even cried a little, maybe a lot, when she turned on Netflix and watched sad romantic movies like the notebook and yelling at Noah for letting her go, she felt a lot like she was an allie.

On the second week she felt stupid and mostly angry for believing he actually liked her. She was sure that he got bored because she didn't open her legs for him or kissed his ass, even though that was the opposite of what he had shown and said to her, but anger makes us believe in anything to get the guilt away from ourselves. "I'm just not that interesting" she said to Lizzie.

On the third week she was back on feeling okay, trying to detox what was left of him.

But she couldn't help feeling disappointed, it had been such a long time since she last felt good with a man around her. Her last dates were just a mess, shallow relationships, one night stands. Even not knowing if brunch was a date or not, it was still better than all the others.

What could have been? What they could become? How did it feel to kiss him? To have him inside of her?

She just really wanted to see his charming smile again.

He made her feel alive for the first time since her mother got cancer. Tessa missed that feeling, happiness, joy, not being worried about how her life was just falling apart, but now it was like she was inside of an old building, falling apart, even though she tries her best to keep it together, to not let it wreck and fall to pieces, taking her together.

There was also the feeling of not being enough, of wondering why he left and didn't call, did he lie to her? About having a good time?

She was just a mess.

On those 3 weeks Tessa got even closer to the Grohls. She loved the kids and created a real strong bond with them. She also got closer to Dave, fulfilling her dream of being friends with her idol. "Besties!" Dave would say, making her laugh out loud. They would talk about music and life, kids, relationships and even on how it was for him and how it for her to be poor. Jordyn got busier and busier since the Foo's decided not to go on tour this year, mostly just compose a couple of songs to make an album the next year. It was a sabbatical from the insanity that was their lives. Tessa was afraid she'd lose her job since Dave was around more but she was relieved to hear that her spot was still right there, she was still very needed.

Sometimes Pat, Chris and Nate would come over, mostly to jam or drink, but Tessa wouldn't get too close, she was always too busy taking care of the kids or at her second job.

Jordyn told her to get away from Taylor, that is was for the best, that he was probably going to get back together with Alison and that Tessa should be glad for it, "you're too good for him, too young and a family needs to stick together". It sounded so conservative and awkward to hear it coming out of Jordyn's mouth. She read the text on the next day after brunch, Jordyn pretty much said that since the divorce Taylor had fucked many girls and was always going to bars, that he loved the chase as much as he loved an easy lay. She said a bunch of other degrading things about him, but Tessa stopped reading at "he can't keep his dick in his pants".