Sweet Talker || Taylor Hawkins Fanfiction ||

Chapter 15 - Wish you were here

"How I wish, how I wish you were here

We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl
Year after year
Running over the same old ground
What have we found?
The same old fears

Wish you were here"

Tessa was not ready for all that attention, it was too many people, too much of a party, too much happening at the same time and she felt like throwing up. Dave smile was fucking huge, super proud of keeping the whole thing a secret and actually being able to make his friend happy, he just wanted Tessa to have a good time, what he didn't know, but could see from that small fraction of time right into those eyes was that she was completely petrified and not in a good way. A shy smile was the only thing she could do, too busy trying to digest everything in front of her, balloons, booze, yelling, a big sign saying "Happy Birthday Tess", waitresses and holy shit was that a pile of fucking presents? She wanted to die right there.

Taylor was extremely nervous, anxious, just waiting for Tess to saying anything, literally anything to make this entire thing less awkward, but she didn't she kept her mouth shut in a very tight smile of a forced happy face. He didn't take his hand from her back, just staring into Dave in a "what do I do?" look. Then the hugs came in and it was even more awkward. There were rockstars there, her idols and she didn't even seem happy, he thought that at least that would solve the problem, at least a little bit.

And then came in Lisa, Tessa's best friend since forever, and like a pro, a fucking super hero, swoop in and took Tessa away.

"I told them this was a bad idea but your boyfriend and your best friend are both very stubborn people" Lisa whispered, grabbing the first drink she saw and giving it to Tessa "drink".

"Kill me" she took a long zip "put fucking cyanide in this drink I don't care".

"Give this one a chance okay maybe it won't be so bad?" Lisa tried to cheer her friend up however it seemed to be all in vain "at less there's booze".

"to booze" she raised her glass and drank it all.

°°°

Tessa had no idea how many drinks went down her throat but it was enough for her to be drunk, the best part of it all was that it was free booze and free food, too much alcohol that made her lose completely all traces of sanity and sobriety of her body, soon she was on top of tables dancing to the sound of 80s rock almost falling off her heels (and the table). Taylor was also a little bit out of his mind, so was dave and lizzie, which made things easier.

The brunette could barely remember why they were there, dancing and drinking and having fun, but then it hit her, watching as the birthday cake got closer and closer, the light of the candles lighting up the frosting with her name. She stood there, struck, watching as the flames danced around, as every one in the room started to sing happy birthday. It took so much effort for her to fake a smile, as Taylor helped her get off the table and smile, completely lost. She looked around, so many people, her heart was racing and there she was, Jordyn, staring at her with the biggest disapproving look, because, well, she didn't tell her she was with taylor, she just...kissed him, in front of everyone, many, many times, through out the party. She felt like shit.

"Come on, baby, blow the candles" he said, hugging her from behind, making her mind lucid enough to blow the flames that soon turned into little traces of smoke and so everyone was back to celebrating.

And that smell, that smell of burned candle brought her so many memories, memories of her dead brother and how they used to celebrate her birthday just the two of them, pretending it was a normal day eating taco bell and listening to heavy metal on his fucked up car, laughing and...damn it, she could stand it anymore.

Tessa ran as fast as she could the moment Taylor turned his back, soon she was outside, near the pool, she sat on it, putting her legs on the water, covering her face with both her hands as she tried to breathe.

"were you ever going to tell me?" Jordyn's voice echoed in her head, as she heard the footsteps getting closer and closer "since when have you being lying straight to my face?".

"it's not what you think" Tessa couldn't face her, she just stared at the water, frightened. It felt like the end and it was "we are in love, blondie".

"Don't you dare call me blondie after lying to me, you betrayed me, Tessa, fuck, what's wrong with you? I gave you a job, I gave you love, a family, thats how you return?" she gave a sarcastic laugh "you are not in love, don't be so stupid, he's just using you, like he used all the others, do you think you are the first after Alison? Or even during Alison, don't be so naive, please, I thought you better".

"God dammit Jordyn, you are not my mother" She finally gathered courage, standing up and facing her soon to be ex friend "you know nothing and there's a reason why I didn't tell you, that's the fucking reason, I knew you would make a big deal out of it, it is not about you".

"You ungrateful bitch, the one god damn thing I asked and you completely ignored, Alison was right".

"Right about what?" she asked, confused.

"about you, you are just some greedy fan that wanted our money, our life".

"what the fuck are you talking about?".

"what's next ruh? Get him to marry you out of pity? or get pregnant so he has no choice? He doesn't give a fuck about you, don't you get it? he's a rockstar, you're just his new, shiny toy" she pratically yelled, crying, which made Tessa cry to.

"I don't know who the hell are you right now but that's not the Jordyn I know, we can talk later, okay? when we are sober and..."

"There's not going to be another time, Tessa, I'm done with you, I'm done with all this shit" she pointed at the party "you are fired, never step foot on my house ever again" she held her purse closer, her eyes red from crying.

"What? no, Jordyn, please, I...you have to understand, I didn't mean for any this to happen, I didn't mean to fall for him or to want him or to lie to you, I'm sorry okay, please I'm so so sorry" she tried to get closer but Jordyn stepped back.

"I don't wanna hear your crap, I'm done with your lies, and Dave's too, have a good life, Tessa" those were the last words before Jordyn left Tessa crying alone, so loud she thanked for the music that muffled her cries.

She didn't remember much after that, she just walked off, a couple of bucks on her pockets, leaving everything behind. She got on a uber and went straight to taco bell, buying two tacos and set on the street, putting one down next to her, wanting her brother to be there so bad.

"One more shitty birthday for the count, ruh" she laughed to herself, a sad, pitiful laugh "I just wish you were here, I fucking wish you were here, that was my birthday wish and has been since you were gone, for you to be here, fuck"