falling for the bad boy

New years

(Barneys pov)

It was new years day so I took ted in a limo and we were driving to Vegas.

"Whoa, we're leaving the city. Where the hell is this party?" Ted says

"Vegas, "I say smiling

"Vegas? I thought the party was on the rooftop." ted says very confusedly.

"Surprise! Just a decoy, my friend. "I smile

"So there's no roof party?" He asks

"Oh, no. There is. We're just not going. This is how good a friend I am. They want you to spent new year standing around drinking flat beer ten feet above your living room. But not me, bro. I pulled out all the stops. Private jet, Valderrama suite at the Bellagio. Steaks at BOA, scotch at Ghostbar, then two ringside seats to watch Floyd Mayweather go ten rounds with, wait for it... a grizzly bear! "I tell him

"Take me home, Barney."

"No! We have to go to Vegas. Look, Ted, I didn't want to say this, but... there's something that I have to tell you, and I wanted you to be in the best possible frame of mind before you heard it."I shake

"You slept with Theo," he says calmly

"You slept with Theodora Barney! That is Ted's sister!"Ranjit explains

"When did you find out?"I ask.

(Flashback)

"Hey, Theo. Come here!"

"What's up?"

"I was, uh, just going through some old stuff and me..."

"Oh, crap!"

"Anyway, uh, I came across this."

"From my vacation in Vermont."

"Yeah. I don't know if you'd even want it, but if you do, it's yours."

"I slept with Barney!"

"what"

"I didn't want to tell you because barney is one of your best friends but I was at the bar you know waiting for you and barney came over. Please don't be mad"

"I'm not mad"

(Back to reality)

"So you're not mad?"I say

"No I'm not mad and I mean she is my twin sister and it's a little weirded out but I'm not mad"

"I'm so relieved to hear you say that."

"Yeah. Yeah. Oh, hey, I just remembered, um, my mom is coming into town next month. Maybe you'd like to nail her, too!ted shouted

"Three billion women on the planet! Three billion! And you have to sleep with the one that I share 50% of my DNA with?! Are you kidding me?... Theo?!" he shouts

"You think I'm proud of this?! I'm horrified that this happened."I say

"How did it happen? Huh? Barney, I want to know. Tell me exactly how it happened. "Ted says looking pissed

"You mean... what position?" I ask

"Stop it! Stop it!"

"Hit him!"Ranjit says

"Ted! Stop!"I say

"Hit him!" he keeps saying

"Stop!"I say

"Hit him!"Ranjit tells

"Okay. Okay. You're pissed. You deserve to be. Fine. You know what? One free shot. On me. Anywhere but the face." I say as ted punches me in the groin I look painfully at ted "Who punches someone in the groin? Okay.Okay. I deserved that. I deserved that. But what's important now is... we're passed this whole theo thing now, right?

"You think that this is just about Theo? This is about... You know, I've seen you do some bad stuff. I mean some really terrible stuff to a lot of different people. I just always thought there had to be a limit. I always thought I was the limit. You're always spouting off these rules for bros. Isn't one of them, "don't do this"?"

"Yeah. And I broke it. I'm sorry. But, Ted...seriously, this suite at the Bellagio..."

"I am not going to Vegas with you! I'm not going to blow off my friends and my girlfriend, and spend new years in a strip club. The fact that you think I would... You know, Barney, earlier this week I started putting things in a box and that box was labelled stuff I have no use for anymore." I say

"What does that mean?" he asks tearing up

"It means... maybe you belong in that box. "

"Are you saying you don't want to be bros anymore? "I say tearing up

"I'm saying I don't want to be friends anymore. "

"Okay, I'm going to stop you right there, because it seems like you're about to say something that's going to pretty much ruin Vegas."

"Ranjit, stop the car. I'm getting a cab"