Just Some Short Stories + Things

HONESTY

This is kind of all over the place and is definitely a rant piece, but I've been working on it for a while so it's time to just publish it. Honesty is a very important value to me so I thought I'd share some of my thoughts on it. Consider this part one of the 'Values' series :) Thanks for reading.

What does the truth mean to you?

Many people would say it's important, vital to healthy relationships, and a moral principle of all good people. But the truth about the truth is that most people don't want to hear it.

People struggle to hear criticism or non-sugarcoated opinions or stories about other's pain. They would rather have an opaque veil over their eyes when it comes to looking at the negativity that is associated with everyone's choices, thoughts, and actions. Or they want things to be filtered, pushed through a sieve of political correctness and politeness, stripped down layer by layer until the story that remains is less of a truth and more of a lie.

Humans are sensitive beings and that's okay. We get overwhelmed and stressed out easily. Which is why it can be so hard to handle our tough truths and reality. But what's not okay is being unwilling to even think about those truths.

To me the truth is a lot of things. It can be an opinion or an answer to a question or an expression of a feeling or a confession.

I get in trouble for being too strongly opinionated sometimes. I will get passionate and often aggravated when defending my opinions because what I believe becomes my truth. Opinions tend to be deeply connected to our innermost values, the things we hold near and dear to our hearts, so it makes sense that such a strong connection can become more meaningful than a fact in our own minds. We believe with all honesty that our opinion is correct — even if it may not be — so how can it be a lie? A conflict arises here when it comes to multiple people having their own unique opinions formed from different values and environments. Suddenly you're dealing with multiple personal truths pitted against one another, and you have to decide: which one is the lie? People will fight and argue, all thinking they are being truthful and righteous. In the end, some people may be offended or they may come away with an altered truth. It's funny how opinions can change like that. How the truth actually changes with the more we learn.

Another thing that gets me in trouble is answering questions too honestly. Has a friend ever asked you: "How do I look?" And you genuinely don't think they look good, but can't tell them. You wish you could reach out, snatch the words out of the air, and shove them back in your mouth when the truth slips out in these situations. But it happens. I've lost many friendships this way, but also strengthened the ones I've kept because those friends know I can be trusted to be honest with them. Building friendships this way is a strategy to finding those with similar values when it comes to the truth and honesty. Some people prefer to just support and compliment and encourage their friends no matter what they've done or how they hurt themselves/others, but some people need the harsh slap of truth to snap them out of a bad habit or funk.

For me, the rawest, toughest way to be honest is to express yourself and your emotions. I'm either like an open book, or a coded message when it comes to my feelings. It's so easy to lie about how you feel and who you are, especially in today's world with the covers of the internet. But it can also be harder to discover a personal truth when you're able to be easily manipulated by so many outside forces. Honest emotion must come from a place inside you, and sometimes finding that place can be a very dark, very scary journey. But I am telling you that the trek is worth it.

Find your truth and live in it, because when you're able to be honest with yourself and others about what you think, see, feel, and want, you live less burdened by expectations.

And don't be afraid of the truth. Listen to what others says — even if you don't want to hear it originally — and analyze, assess, and learn from it.

Honesty is powerful, use that power to better your world.