Mental Hospitals

0.6

0.6

Emma's POV

3 months.

I have been in this mental hospital for 3 months. This is living hell. I have been put in a mental hospital before. But it was only for a few days. They only sent me to show me what it would be like if I continued my suicidal ways. It wasn't that bad when I was only hear for a few days. But now that I've been here for 3 months, it's living hell.

People forcing you to eat food you don't want because your afraid your going to get fat.
Group therapy because they think that sharing your feelings with a bunch of strangers is going to help.
6 different medications a day to make sure I'm "stable".
No alcohol to help take the thoughts away.
No blades to punish myself with when I know I have done something wrong or disappointed others.
And even though he annoyed the living shit out of me with his "inspirational speeches", the thing I miss the most, is my annoying little shit of a brother, Michael.
Plus, I haven't seen Calum since the last time I rode the bus, so he is probably relived to not have to deal with an ugly, fat, crying bitch like me. He was probably expecting this. He just pitted me. But I don't think that he realizes, that I actually started to think that someone actually cared about me. But now that I haven't heard from Calum or Michael. I know that it was all just pity. Nobody could ever possibly care about me. Even if they were family. My parents never cared about me. So why should anyone else?

"Emma, would you like to share anything?" A voice snaps me out of my deep thoughts, reminding me that I am still in group therapy. Since I have been here, I have tried to kill myself 3 times, but have failed because of the god damn nurses of this institution just have to keep walking in. But they were too dumb to realize that once they turn away, I was just going to try again. But in a different way.

They have figured that out though. So I am always being monitored, and I always have to be with someone. And even though somebody is always with me. They make me wear this fucking straight jacket so I can't move my arms and the only time I am released, is when I am taking a shower, going to the bathroom, or eating. But even then I am being monitored 24/7.

I stand up from my chair while every stares at me as my arms are tight around my chest, held together to restrict my movements.

"What do you expect me to say? That I came here to get better. Well that's just not the case. I was forced to come here. And now I am under surveillance all the time because of this fucking place. It just makes me want to kill myself even more because it is literally the definition of living hell. I don't get why you guys even want me here. It's not like I'm going to save world peace or starvation. I am just an oversized waste of space that was a mistake!" I am not screaming with tears running down my face.

"Why does everybody fucking care?" I yell as I turn around and kick my wooden chair causing it the fall over and break. Fucking cheap ass people.

"Get me the fuck out of here and let me kill myself already! It's going to happen eventually, so why wait when I could just do it right now!" I continue to scream and sob at the same time and a couple of doctors and staff are now walking in the room to see what all the noise is.

"We just want you to get better Emma. That's all we want. Nobody here wants you to kill yourself. You were brought into this world for a reason. And that reason was not for you to just kill yourself." The group counselor says to me, obviously trying to calm me as he slowly stands from his chair.

The doctors and staff are still crowded by the door not moving. It's not until my anger takes over and I walk up to the counselor and kick him in the stomach multiple times causing him to fall to his knees, that the doctors and staff started running towards me.

"Stop fucking trying to make us feel better about ourselves because we only come up with more reasons to hate ourself or make us want to do bad things!" I yell again walking towards him to kick him again when four staff members lift me off the ground and pull me away from him.

Two holding each of my legs and I attempt to kick them and two holding my upper body, keeping me from falling and moving too much as a doctor pulls a needle out of her pocket and shoves it through my clothing and into my skin, injecting the drug causing me to to immediately calm down and making me drowsy.

I stop kicking and scream, but still mumbling a few words as I become more and more drowsy and everything starts to fade.

"Just let me die, just let me die, just let me fucking die." I mumble as everything turns black and I fall unconscious.