Laugh Lines

Interludes

A/N: things are starting to happen... p.s. smut...that is all

~You help me sleep at night,

Help me turn off the lights,

Calm down my obsessed mind,

You're my religion~

~Yungblud~

Peach had interrupted Joker's planning session by bringing him lunch. He growled at the plate. At this rate, she was going to get him fat. He ate the tasty lunch regardless. Good ole PB&J. With sticky fingers, he continued his planning.

The murder and mayhem was the easy part. It was the drawing out Batman that would be the hard work. If Wayne really was the bat, and all signs were pointing to yes, then he would have to find out what would push him to come out and play.

That was the million dollar question.

Joker could feel the excitement wanting to move through him. This was going to be fun. He stood up from his desk, stretching out the knots in his back. All of his brilliant ideas were getting jumbled in his head. He needed to clear his mind of all the static. He stood up and stretched. Where, oh where was his wife? He stepped out into the hallway, listening for any sounds she might make. He could faintly hear the TV droning on. BINGO! He made his way downstairs and into the living room. He was surprised to see her feet sticking out over the top of the couch.

He walked over and ran his finger cross the arch of her left foot. She squeaked as she scrambled off of the couch.

"You scared me." She was almost pouting.

He moved around the couch to see the mess she had made. There were snack bags and crumbs everywhere. He sighed, unsure why he bought her nice things.

"I will clean it up when I am done watching the news." She said before he could complain.

He looked over at the TV, there on the screen was a large picture of Bruce Wayne. Joker sat on the couch and listened to the shitty story.

Bruce was back in Gotham, claiming he had a brain injury and had spent the last 18 months in treatment. Joker didn't buy it. He had had his fair share of head injuries and he was just fine. All that mattered was Bruce was back and billionairing it up, once again.

He felt Peach scoot her body closer to his. He ignored her until the story changed to other celebrity 'news'. He grabbed the remote and turned the TV off.

"Oh, wife?"

"Yes?" Peach was smiling ear to ear.

"I want to start a new scheme and I may need your help at some point." He said, running his hand along her thigh.

He watched her as she tapped her chin like she was having to think about it. He continued his hands up her legs, fingers skimming the edge of her very short shorts. She always kept the house cold, but her skin always felt like it was on fire.

"And if I say no?" she asked, scooting her body closer to his.

He let a growl rumble through his chest. This woman drove him crazy.

He leaned forward, nipping her earlobe. "I can, uh, pay you," he paused. "In, uh, favors."

"Favors? Who needs favors? I happen to be married to the most ruthless, most handsome, craziest man in Gotham City. I don't need favors." She feigned disgust.

He chuckled, "I am offering favors of a, hmmm, sex-ual variety."

Her eyes widened in shock. "I don't know if my husband would like that, he is an insanely jealous man."